I’m a carer for an elderly relative and tomorrow we’re going for the results of a liver scan.
This elderly relative has told me they’ll refuse treatment if it’s cancer. Which it probably will be, as they’ve had an operation to remove a tumour already.
I’ve finally reached carer burnout. I don’t mind being a carer for someone who wants to live. But I don’t care anymore.
How old are they?
Maybe they have been expecting the inevitable for a while and just want to go comfortably without any fuss. In their own way
They’re 84, but healthier than me.
Thats a good age. I would carry on being there for them
Try not to burnout
I feel for you. Sending (((hugs))).
I can understand this as a physical caregiver.
There are things you can do and things that you feel helpless as a caregiver.
It’s sometimes is physically exhausting and mentally too.
I was a partial caregiver for my Mom who was wheelchair bound and suffered from dementia.
Being a caregiver to a sick older person is very hard draining work.
Try to have some time for yourself
Getting burned out is easy if you are not careful @everhopeful
Also did you volunteer to be your family member’s caregiver?
Or were you placed into that position by others?
It just happened. My brother has a wife, 4 kids and a job. He wouldn’t have been able. So I was “it” by default.
Yeah same with me.
My brother works full time plus I live with my Mom when she was alive.
But she also sacrificed so much for me in my life.
I was happy to do it
M sorry you are dealing with this. I have been there also. You are not alone. It helped me to avoid thinking about it whenever I could. Once my family members were already dead, I could unpack how much it all sucked. Until then, it didn’t help to acknowledge how hard it was. It just made it seem harder.
Well, after all that my elderly relative got the all clear today. So I feel like a fool for worrying so much.
I’m glad your relative is ok. Can someone give you a little break for some self care, even if it’s to just get out and do something fun? That might help a lot. Like one day a week for you might be very beneficial, even if you no longer have to worry about your relative losing their will to fight to live.
Thats good news!
That’s a good idea. I’ll see if I can meet up with my brother to do something.
I’m glad your relative is doing well.
Yeah make sure you give yourself frequent breaks @everhopeful
But I know it’s not easy
Thanks wave. Yes, I will.
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