Can't stop comparing myself to more successful siblings

I’m the oldest of all my parents’ children but my three adult brothers are all working demanding full-time jobs while I’m barely able to work part-time (at least at this point; I do accept that things could change and my ability to handle stress could improve, especially now that I’m back in therapy). I don’t think they’re all necessarily neurotypical, but whatever mental afflictions they deal with haven’t been totally disabling like mine have been, and while I’m happy for that because I wouldn’t wish severe mental illness on anyone, much less a beloved family member, I do wish I could have had an easier time of things as well, lol.

I’m really working to be grateful for my lot in life because I’ve been very privileged in some ways, but I know I’m seen as the family failure by way too many people (not that I care about that too much). I wish my siblings all the success in the world; I’d just like a little success, too, please, lol. With hard work I can get to where I want to be, or at least that’s what my boyfriend keeps telling me. For now, I guess I just have to be easier on myself. All my empathy to those of you who deal with this kind of envy as well.

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My younger brother is successful but I have no envy towards him.

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That’s a good way to be. Maybe the trick is to acknowledge that our lives have just as much value regardless of their lack of conventionality.

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I’ve a good family. They don’t judge but I still live with my dad and pay half the bills. I owe them a lot and I’m paying back for financing a move overseas. Still. I have successful siblings but stress does me in. I don’t work accordingly and I like my life…I think that you have to like what you do and with sz that often is maintaining your mental health.

It’s hard but don’t be too hard on yourself. We are the 1 % ers and it’s amazing what we can do that others don’t have to deal with. I think @anon51377248 puts it well. We all have our strengths and weakness and we give back how we can.

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@anon51377248 I wish you luck with your endeavors! I have complete faith that you are indeed capable of landing a good job; you seem quite dedicated to your interests and I appreciate that you can always offer up a unique perspective on things. Both of those qualities would surely be desirable to any employer of your choosing.

I haven’t started my job yet; still waiting for an opportunity to get my ID renewed as it had just expired at the time of my being hired. It’s looking like there won’t be an opening to have that done until mid-December. On top of that, covid cases are increasing at a pretty frightening pace in my area and I live with people who deal with high risk folks for work. I’m not really sure if an in-person job is the best idea after all right now because of that. D: We’ll see.

@rogueone thank you for your perspective as well. You have an excellent attitude and for that reason you’re kind of a role model of mine, lol. I’ll try to keep in mind that I have as much to offer as my siblings do. At the very least my mental health journey has mellowed me out quite a bit, something I’m grateful for as impatience and anger are pretty much the norm for most of my family, unfortunately.

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I’m sure you will succeed with whatever you decide to go through with.

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I’ve got 2 brothers and 2 sisters…all with University Degrees.

But Mom once told me I’m smarter than all of them put together! lol!

I don’t know if she was being serious, or just being a loving Mom when she said that. I’m the only family member without a Degree so maybe it was her way of not making me feel so bad.

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You seem smart to me! I appreciate your cleverness as consistently demonstrated on this forum.

I’ve been praised for my supposed intelligence, too, but my one semester of college to date was a real struggle for me, and I only took the most basic classes. Maybe my next attempt will have a better result.

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Thanks for the compliment!

You also have a ‘street smart’ way about you, I’ve noticed. Perhaps when we face so much adversity with our afflictions, it makes us mature a little faster than most and that can be reflected in our thoughts and words…etc.

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Makes sense to me! We do what we must to get by. We’ve been forced to confront the darkness within ourselves and that helps give us insight into the darkness of others, insight that they themselves might not even have.

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Out of my brother,sister and I my sister is the only who’s had anything like the career my father had . I’m not envious of that, but the truth is we’ve been in very different social circles for many years. Even before I moved we rarely saw each other.

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My younger brother is a successful executive.
But I’m a lot smarter :wink:

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I’m an only child. Even with my illness I’m still more successful than my cousins lol.

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You should really measure yourself over how good of a person you are and not how productive you are.

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I try not to compare myself to my brother and sisters. They all have a good job and a family of their own so sometimes I feel like the outcast here.

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My brother has a PHD and my sisters an LNA. I don’t have any degree and I dropped out of high-school. I don’t know what to do for work. I feel as though I thought broadcast so I don’t feel comfortable. I’m living at home. My brithers married with 2 kids and my sister has a
Teenage daughter. No marriage or children yet.

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A famous Romanian poet and publicist once said “It’s useless to be a good person if you are not good at something”.
I tend to disagree. We should not strive to be more productive, but to be more at peace with ourselves and the world.

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I have 2 sisters and a brother. 2 of them [one sister and my brother] have advanced degrees. I feel no envy towards them, just feel like it’s more concerning my own development and how I personally missed out. I’m 32 now and feel like my 20’s were wasted with mental health problems. The only things I learnt since my 20’s [I was diagnosed when I was 20] was touchtyping and learning how to play Chess. A good way to combat stress is to focus on drinking lots of water and getting lots of sleep.

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My older sister and two brothers all work and I feel like I’m still a baby with no work experience (and I’m 36). When they talk about work I feel left out. I wish I could earn too. Hoping to find a work-from-home from home job next year.

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I always compare myself to my successful brothers bcz they live with me. Jealousy kills me.

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