Not looking to phone or using any device or entertainment just being in silence listening to outside noises or watching through window meditating
I can’t I m glued to phone
my mind loops ∧ sees things loops back see something new thought loops back. it happens all day. since 8am. this is my first interaction in 5 hours.
Maybe I shouldn’t force myself too much I will evolve by time
forcing = pressure
thats one of my biggest pleasures sometimes, just existing,
Sometimes I can, it depends on my mood and willpower
Yes. I do that inbetween stuff sometimes. It’s easier to lye on a sofa though. Then I often get confronted with thoughts about my real life I find. Which can be uncomfortable sometimes, but also a important revelation. The trick is just to not overdo it, and walk away from it if it becomes too much.
To me most of online activities are self torture. I’d rather read a physical book, or watch a commercial free movie on the dvd player, than surf on the net, or use social media.
Spent half an hour on a lake today just floating quietly. Heaven.
I used to. For hours on end everyday.
It didn’t do me any good. So I try to keep my mind busy now.
No I gotta have constant stuff in the background.
I do it from time to time. If ■■■■ starts getting crazy I’ll distract myself. But usually turning off the lights and laying back on my recliner is a much needed rest from my constant over stimulation. I also find that if I sleep with everything off I wake up feeling better.
Its easier for me to do that than to use entertainment. I can sit and stare at out a window or at a wall for a couple hours just thinking. I sometimes need to force myself to read or watch or play something so that i stop doing it. Its just that often entertainment seems so boring to me. I cant help but see a lot of it as pointless, stupid or filled with propaganda. I attribute most of this to my sza negative symptoms and angedonia. Since i dont really ‘feel’ much while distracting myself with entertainment.
Sometimes, rarely, I can just sit and think. But usually I’m glued to either the internet, I’m talking on the phone, or my nose is in a book.
I never had this skill, even before phones and internet. I always needed something. Either background music or some activity. I could sit in nature, but I would be plucking blades of grass to form nests, or pulling the petals off of dandelions, or something like that.
I used to be into meditation. But I don’t get a good effect from it anymore. I sometimes sit outside and just stare at the trees, maybe that counts.
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