Can you share me some tips or experiences in how overcome a trauma?

Health and Recovery
1

When I was a little child, sometimes my father hit me because I had a bad behaviour, my mother too. Although, it only was a few times.
However, in those times I felt that my father could kill me if he wanted; this provoke on me, a deep afraid; then I transfered this afraid to adult people. However, since then, I have never been able to overcome this feeling. I feel that anyone can attack me, people on street, shops, barber, etc.
I am 49, so I would like to overcome this feeling.
Nowadays, I am in psychoterapy however I have not been able to overcome it yet.

I would like to know your experiences, tips or if you know some links with useful information I will tahnk you.
Tolteca.

1 Like
2

Youā€™re in therapy?

Make sure you tell them exactly what you just told us. Like write it down and read it to them.

Itā€™s their job.

But I overcame feelings of fear by being the scary one. Unorthodox yet it worked.

4 Likes
3

Yeah, youā€™ve been physically abused, just like me and millions of kids around the world. That is why I praise the new law that soon comes to my country as a part of EU, a law that will punish those parents who were stable enough to decide they want the kids but they canā€™t be stable enough to raise them properly.

First, you have to talk with your pdoc about this. Trauma is no small thing. It can manifest/speak itself by dozens of ways which will make you weak and locked in there.

Your father probably didnā€™t hate you. Neither does mine.
They were taught to teach their children to behave by their own parents. They were overwhelmed, unaware of their own traumas and negative emotions, and no one showed Iā€™m how to train the patience.
They probably werenā€™t intentionally mean - just too much culturally conditioned to be aware of the longterm consequences for what theyā€™ve done.

Maybe it will help you to overcome your reasonable anger for the helpless child that you were back then - if you try to understand that neither of you were exactly knowing what youā€™re doing, because no one show you better.

6 Likes
4

You should definitely talk to your pdoc. It sounds like you have PTSD. I have that too! Some things that help are exposure therapy and sitting down with your parents to talk about your feelings if you can. If you have a smart phone, download Tetris or some other puzzle game. When you start to feel anxious, start playing the puzzle game, and your brain will calm down. That is actually a real, proven method called Tetris therapy.

2 Likes
5

prayer, meditation, the ability to forgiveā€¦ all important. to me, if you can help someone else with trauma. you will see yourself in the process.

1 Like
6

@mortimermouse:

Yes I will told him next Thursday.

@Sarad:

Yes I agree with you; perhaps he was frustrated the job or the family.

@cj9556: You give me some tips so I am working in those.

@gene: I will try to follow your advice.

Thanks everyone, it has been useful to post my question.
Tolteca.

3 Likes
7

I would like to read experiences from others partners.
It will be useful for me.
Thanks.

8

Thereā€™s plenty of great stuff to explore on the general topic of disfunctional parenting. I found all of it helpful to get out of the box of thinking I was the ā€œbad kidā€ my parents told me I was. As I got out of that boxā€¦ THE VOICES GOT SOFTER AND SOFTER.

Woititz, J. G.: Adult Children of Alcoholics, Pompano Beach. FL: Health Communications, 1983.

Black, C.: It Will Never Happen to Me: Children of Alcoholics as Youngsters-Adolescents-Adults, New York: Ballentine, 1981, 1987.

Miller, A.: For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child Rearing and the Roots of Violence, London: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1979, 1983.

Miller, A.: Prisoners of Childhood / The Drama of the Gifted Child, New York: Basic Books, 1979, 1996.

Miller, A.: Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Societyā€™s Betrayal of the Child, London: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1981, 1984, 1998.

Perry, B.; Szalavitz, M.: The Boy Who was Raised as a Dogā€¦, New York: Basic Books, 2007.

Forward, S.: Toxic Parents: Overcoming their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, New York: Bantam Books, 1989.

Anonymous: Adult Children of Alcoholics: Alcoholic / Dysfunctional Families, Torrance, CA: ACA World Service Office, 2006.

Brown, N.: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Upā€™s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents, 2nd. Ed., Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2008.

Gibson, L.: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2015

Golomb, E.: Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self, New York: William Morrow, 1992.

Payson, E.: The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with One-Way Relationships in Work, Love and Family, Royal Oak, MI: Julian Day, 2002.

1 Like
9

I think the main thing here is not to blame yourself. Also, once we accept the traumas they grow smaller. I know itā€™s easy to talk, Iā€™m traumatized still about past experiences but nevertheless I feel thatā€™s the way to go.

You donā€™t need that persons approval and you donā€™t need to know what kind of person he was. All you need to know is that some people donā€™t know how to give love, and that is their problem, not yours. All you can do is do different.

This is what Iā€™m trying to do.

1 Like
10

@notmoses thanks for you suggestions I will check it.

@Minnii Thanks for your comments, they give me a different focus of my problem.

I am working in the solution.
Thanks for your help.

1 Like
11

always face your fears like a peaceful warriorā€¦ :blush:
never run awayā€¦
stand your ground.
take care :alien:

watch massive attackā€¦ā€™ angel ā€™ video on u tubeā€¦you will know what i mean. :sunny:

3 Likes
12

EMDR Trauma Release CBC News Report - 10 min clip.

13

Propranolol medication based trauma release - Canadian documentary 10 min clip.

1 Like
14

Medscape article ā€˜Propranolol a Promising Treatment for PTSDā€™.

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/729444

15

I suggest reading the exchanges about the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder Iā€™ve had with @light_hacker on the the thread called ā€œECT for major depression.ā€

Additionally, I will suggest the following excellent therapeutic workbooks and psychotherapies for PTSD:

http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Body-Workbook-PTSD-Harbinger-Self-Help/dp/1572249234/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1447446819&sr=1-1&keywords=Block+Mind-Body+Workbook+for+PTSD&pebp=1447446827483&perid=1T35GW57FGW69XVTENQ9

I have used all of these personally and professionally with considerable success. Note how highly they are rated by readers on amazon.com.

Most effective, research-proven psychotherapies for PTSD:

DBT ā€“ http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR ā€“ Welcome to the Mindful Living Blog
ACT ā€“ ACT | Association for Contextual Behavioral Science
10 StEP ā€“ Pair A Docks: The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing
MBBT ā€“ An Introduction to Mind-Body Bridging & the I-System ā€“ New Harbinger Publications, Inc
SEPT ā€“ Somatic experiencing - Wikipedia
SMPT ā€“ Sensorimotor psychotherapy - Wikipedia

1 Like
16

I had a diagnosis of PTSD in my mid 20ā€™s which was taken away in my late 20ā€™s (they said none of it happened) and I was going crazy at the time with all these flashbacks and delusions and visionsā€¦but really though if one or two of these things happened (which is most likely) and I was never able to come to terms and heal from these thingsā€¦wellā€¦I mean I could have had a chance at a life out thereā€¦I could have known what to doā€¦could have come to terms with myself rather than spinning out of control and withdrawing from the world.

When trauma is experienced itā€™s enough to just have to deal with the trauma itā€™s self, but when itā€™s something thatā€™s been ā€œblacked outā€ of oneā€™s mind only to be remembered later, when itā€™s something the proof of which you need is beyond oneā€™s graspā€¦or social power and abilities to (thought blocking hereā€¦whereā€™s the wordā€¦) toā€¦simple wordā€¦advocate (ahh!) for yourselfā€¦thereā€™s no help in sight.

But I guess the message Iā€™ve got in this world is that you have to help yourselfā€¦even when that is impossible but then I suppose thatā€™s why we let people live miserable existences on the street while we go about our days. Yeah Iā€™m that naĆÆveā€¦

17

So was I. But not anymore, bro. Not anymore.

18

Very thanks my friend, it is enough information; thanks again!!
Tolteca.

19

I tried the second one, and it was awful for me. I felt like the book was very condescending, so I got angry every time I tried doing an exercise. But thatā€™s just my personal experience with it.

1 Like
20

Feeling like others are being condescending may be the #1 reason for the widespread treatment resistance the profession sees in the psychotic spectrum disorders, including sz. Paranoia is so rampantā€¦ and it is so difficult to develop consistent trust in the patient-therapist relationship if the therapist is not 1) very hip to how the sz mind works, and 2) very patient and mindful.