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Can you share me some tips or experiences in how overcome a trauma?

When I was a little child, sometimes my father hit me because I had a bad behaviour, my mother too. Although, it only was a few times.
However, in those times I felt that my father could kill me if he wanted; this provoke on me, a deep afraid; then I transfered this afraid to adult people. However, since then, I have never been able to overcome this feeling. I feel that anyone can attack me, people on street, shops, barber, etc.
I am 49, so I would like to overcome this feeling.
Nowadays, I am in psychoterapy however I have not been able to overcome it yet.

I would like to know your experiences, tips or if you know some links with useful information I will tahnk you.
Tolteca.

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You’re in therapy?

Make sure you tell them exactly what you just told us. Like write it down and read it to them.

It’s their job.

But I overcame feelings of fear by being the scary one. Unorthodox yet it worked.

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Yeah, you’ve been physically abused, just like me and millions of kids around the world. That is why I praise the new law that soon comes to my country as a part of EU, a law that will punish those parents who were stable enough to decide they want the kids but they can’t be stable enough to raise them properly.

First, you have to talk with your pdoc about this. Trauma is no small thing. It can manifest/speak itself by dozens of ways which will make you weak and locked in there.

Your father probably didn’t hate you. Neither does mine.
They were taught to teach their children to behave by their own parents. They were overwhelmed, unaware of their own traumas and negative emotions, and no one showed I’m how to train the patience.
They probably weren’t intentionally mean - just too much culturally conditioned to be aware of the longterm consequences for what they’ve done.

Maybe it will help you to overcome your reasonable anger for the helpless child that you were back then - if you try to understand that neither of you were exactly knowing what you’re doing, because no one show you better.

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You should definitely talk to your pdoc. It sounds like you have PTSD. I have that too! Some things that help are exposure therapy and sitting down with your parents to talk about your feelings if you can. If you have a smart phone, download Tetris or some other puzzle game. When you start to feel anxious, start playing the puzzle game, and your brain will calm down. That is actually a real, proven method called Tetris therapy.

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prayer, meditation, the ability to forgive… all important. to me, if you can help someone else with trauma. you will see yourself in the process.

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@mortimermouse:

Yes I will told him next Thursday.

@Sarad:

Yes I agree with you; perhaps he was frustrated the job or the family.

@cj9556: You give me some tips so I am working in those.

@gene: I will try to follow your advice.

Thanks everyone, it has been useful to post my question.
Tolteca.

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I would like to read experiences from others partners.
It will be useful for me.
Thanks.

There’s plenty of great stuff to explore on the general topic of disfunctional parenting. I found all of it helpful to get out of the box of thinking I was the “bad kid” my parents told me I was. As I got out of that box… THE VOICES GOT SOFTER AND SOFTER.

Woititz, J. G.: Adult Children of Alcoholics, Pompano Beach. FL: Health Communications, 1983.

Black, C.: It Will Never Happen to Me: Children of Alcoholics as Youngsters-Adolescents-Adults, New York: Ballentine, 1981, 1987.

Miller, A.: For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child Rearing and the Roots of Violence, London: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1979, 1983.

Miller, A.: Prisoners of Childhood / The Drama of the Gifted Child, New York: Basic Books, 1979, 1996.

Miller, A.: Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society’s Betrayal of the Child, London: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1981, 1984, 1998.

Perry, B.; Szalavitz, M.: The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog…, New York: Basic Books, 2007.

Forward, S.: Toxic Parents: Overcoming their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, New York: Bantam Books, 1989.

Anonymous: Adult Children of Alcoholics: Alcoholic / Dysfunctional Families, Torrance, CA: ACA World Service Office, 2006.

Brown, N.: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents, 2nd. Ed., Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2008.

Gibson, L.: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2015

Golomb, E.: Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self, New York: William Morrow, 1992.

Payson, E.: The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with One-Way Relationships in Work, Love and Family, Royal Oak, MI: Julian Day, 2002.

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I think the main thing here is not to blame yourself. Also, once we accept the traumas they grow smaller. I know it’s easy to talk, I’m traumatized still about past experiences but nevertheless I feel that’s the way to go.

You don’t need that persons approval and you don’t need to know what kind of person he was. All you need to know is that some people don’t know how to give love, and that is their problem, not yours. All you can do is do different.

This is what I’m trying to do.

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@notmoses thanks for you suggestions I will check it.

@Minnii Thanks for your comments, they give me a different focus of my problem.

I am working in the solution.
Thanks for your help.

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always face your fears like a peaceful warrior… :blush:
never run away…
stand your ground.
take care :alien:

watch massive attack…’ angel ’ video on u tube…you will know what i mean. :sunny:

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EMDR Trauma Release CBC News Report - 10 min clip.

Propranolol medication based trauma release - Canadian documentary 10 min clip.

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Medscape article ‘Propranolol a Promising Treatment for PTSD’.

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/729444

I suggest reading the exchanges about the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder I’ve had with @light_hacker on the the thread called “ECT for major depression.”

Additionally, I will suggest the following excellent therapeutic workbooks and psychotherapies for PTSD:

I have used all of these personally and professionally with considerable success. Note how highly they are rated by readers on amazon.com.

Most effective, research-proven psychotherapies for PTSD:

DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html
MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
SEPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_Experiencing
SMPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensorimotor_psychotherapy

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I had a diagnosis of PTSD in my mid 20’s which was taken away in my late 20’s (they said none of it happened) and I was going crazy at the time with all these flashbacks and delusions and visions…but really though if one or two of these things happened (which is most likely) and I was never able to come to terms and heal from these things…well…I mean I could have had a chance at a life out there…I could have known what to do…could have come to terms with myself rather than spinning out of control and withdrawing from the world.

When trauma is experienced it’s enough to just have to deal with the trauma it’s self, but when it’s something that’s been “blacked out” of one’s mind only to be remembered later, when it’s something the proof of which you need is beyond one’s grasp…or social power and abilities to (thought blocking here…where’s the word…) to…simple word…advocate (ahh!) for yourself…there’s no help in sight.

But I guess the message I’ve got in this world is that you have to help yourself…even when that is impossible but then I suppose that’s why we let people live miserable existences on the street while we go about our days. Yeah I’m that naïve…

So was I. But not anymore, bro. Not anymore.

Very thanks my friend, it is enough information; thanks again!!
Tolteca.

I tried the second one, and it was awful for me. I felt like the book was very condescending, so I got angry every time I tried doing an exercise. But that’s just my personal experience with it.

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Feeling like others are being condescending may be the #1 reason for the widespread treatment resistance the profession sees in the psychotic spectrum disorders, including sz. Paranoia is so rampant… and it is so difficult to develop consistent trust in the patient-therapist relationship if the therapist is not 1) very hip to how the sz mind works, and 2) very patient and mindful.