Can you see and hear yourself realistically?

kinda have a problem with this

im lacking full control of my behaviour and i dont see other people are having problems like this whether or not those people are smarter than me
its like im not mature enough for my age
i was getting to this issue of immaturity with my tdoc but i had to stop seeing him (money)
to put it simply i dont know how to behave

anyone with similar experience?

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Not sure what you are doing, but not everyone has to approve of how you behave. Pretty much everything we do now a days, you will see others ranting on the internet on how bad it is, most are usually uninformed read a couple of lines of information then jump on the ban wagon.

You don’t have to be a kid to act like one, enjoy your life, as long as your not hurting any others life

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im lacking full control of my behaviour

I’m not sure what that means. Are you having issues with impulse control?

No I must not se/hear myself realistically because I cringe every time I see/hear a recording of myself and quickly say “that’s not me!”

Ugh that’s my dad. He does things that are immensely irritating to other people and then just laughs about it and keeps doing it regardless of how much or how seriously you tell him to stop. Meanwhile if you do something that irritates him he bites your head off immediately. It’s ridiculous. He’s oblivious.

My advice is listen when other people tell you your behavior is strange or unacceptable, and then don’t repeat that behavior.

I have a problem of making bad decisions and not always being rational in what I do. In my case, my therapist says a lot of it is due to how I grew up with abuse and trauma etc but most of it is due to my Bipolar symptoms. Hypomania makes you sooo irresponsible and really destroys your judgment and long term thinking. Also my therapist says I basically stopped maturing when I was 17 because of a trauma I had then, and I’m basically stuck in that mindset.

There came a point in my life where I had to see myself realistically.

You can spend decades supporting the buttresses of your ego. And your thoughts about yourself, your world, your achievements, etc. But ‘me’, myself’ and ‘I’ are not the world. When you meet the world or encounter things that threaten your existence like failure, personal illness, or death of others it reminds you that you are ephemera like everything else. Those kinds of things wake you up.

haha im not like your dad im too inhibited to do anything while in some company
especially to others

my problem is of different nature… i look plain silly when i try to be relaxed and not stuffy
i cant ever find the right words or be witty like other people
and im not more stupid than quite literally all the people i know
its like my reasoning is childish like im stuck at lets say my fifteens
serbians have a saying that goes something like this "nor worries nor smarts"
thats me… immature

maybe its because i dont even remember when i had sex last time

@thedeepestdream
my ego became very silent because of all the things i went through and had to do to survive
i think all of us here have similar experince

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If that’s the case, then I must have the emotional maturity of a nine year old, because I was sexually abused for the first time by my father at that age. Might even be younger because I was physically abused by him at the age of two. One of my bosses in the military accused me of being immature.

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Not everyone responds to these things the same way. Some people are barely affected at all! Other people’s lives are totally ruined.

My life was totally ruined for years from my abuse. It doesn’t affect me at all today because I’ve worked through it all.