It’s been so long since I lost my best friend to suicide. I can’t even count the years.
But I was just listening a song, and it made me realize how there really is always going to be a hole in my heart, where there once was my friend.
He was like a brother to me.
Not a day goes by where I don’t think about him.
I’m sorry, I am just having a hard night.
Thank you for reading. As always, take care 
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PS - If anyone could recommend some good grieving books, I really would appreciate it.
I’m sorry. I lost an acquaintance to suicide many years ago. He was a good guy. I liked him. I still don’t understand it. My bus driver, and a few others are gone. It still hurts.
My 24 year old nephew took his life last year, and it has hurt like nothing I’ve ever known before…and it dosen’t stop.
I’ve cried and cried, and cry some more- including right now as I write this.
The only thing that helps me is to keep his memory alive with the good memories I have of him, I set out a plate for him at the holidays, and on his birthday I light a candle.
Nothing will bring him back, no amount of tears or sorrow will make me forget him, but keeping him alive with the good memories is one way to keep him alive and allow me to move past the grief without feeling like I’m betraying him by forgetting him.
“Grief is just love with no place to go.”
I’ve always found this quote particularly true when thinking about the people I’ve lost.
I’m sorry you’re hurting.
I am sorry for your grief. I lost my brother last year and I think about him everyday.
I’m so sorry Monte. I can’t imagine how hard it must be.
I’m sorry. 
Keeping you in my thoughts.
In this world, you learn to suffer. That’s reality. I’ve seen such cruel things in this world and for instance, right now a friends dad is at near the end of his suffering from als. It has ripped his family apart. They question their religion and the world. I try to be supportive because I’ve been through so much pain. However, dwelling on it, isn’t what “they” would want you to do. Remaining in the past can overwhelm you to the point of your own destructive self. Let the pain go is what I thoroughly believe. Am I losing my mind or I’d my repose earlier not post?
I also had a friend who took his own life. He suffered from chronic depression. No med could be found that helped. I believe it was perfectionism that pushed him over the edge. No song he wrote was ever good enough for his internalized dad.
The part about perfectionism in Feeling Good by David Burns is pretty good, but I don’t know of one for grieving. I hope someone else has one.
The pain never completely goes away. You can move, or change jobs, but the pain never completely goes away. You get used to it. And it’s a good thing that the pain never goes away. It’s a good thing because it makes sure you’ll never forget him. And you don’t want to forget him.
I didn’t mean to be callous but I’ve been at the point of suicide my whole life and unsuccessfully failed. I’d hate to see one tear shed for me. Suicide is self-righteous and I wouldn’t do it now because of my dogs. It’s just that your friend made their choice, and to honor their memory, enjoy life to its fullest. I’ve held a hand and have it go could and lifeless, but I learned it is their choice, if they can’t mske it in this cruel world, don’t let it bring you under water, too
I have a broken heart over my son who died of suicide almost seven years ago this upcoming May. I will make a point to visit his grave this May even though I have no car and no transportation.
My heart has been broken to the point, none of the pieces fit back together
So is mine, @anon98519533. I know how you feel.
What people don’t understand is “me” and “my journey” I just have to deal the shitty cards I was handed…
Thanks for helping me feel as if I am not “alone”
I’m sorry about your friend and that you’re feeling so broken down tonight.
My husband lost a close friend to suicide and sometimes he just has to burrito time and cry it out.
I hope you get some good sleep and feel better today.
Thank you all for the kind and thoughtful responses.
@GoldenRex I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s friend.
@kindness Your post really touched my heart. Thank you. 
@SkinnyMe I’m so sorry to hear about your son.
@ThePickinSkunk Thank you your sympathy and understanding. I’ve lost so many family to diseases and early death, and my friend to an early death. Death is something that escapes no one. But it also puzzles me at times.
@LED That’s a beautiful quote. Thank you for understanding.
@Csummers I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure your nephew will always love you, and never forget you. I keep my friend alive by memories as well. That and even buying certain albums we listened to together.
Sometimes in the dark of night I’ll throw on a Van Morrison song we both loved, and I’ll literally laugh and cry at the same time.
@Breeze Thank you for understanding. I’m sorry you lost your brother.
@Borath I’m sorry to hear about your loss. It’s okay, I have found some good grieving books by searching.
@anon98519533 I’m sorry your heart is broken. I hope time can heal you. 
At everyone else, thank you again for your reply. Last night was a little rough. But tonight is going a little better.
Thank you very much. Sorry if harsh words, but I really am truely tellingly you, they want you to be happy. Suicide is so cruel and self-righteous. Just sometimes people we love just can’t handle this cruel, cruel world Time slips by so fast. Live it if you can!
Greaving is healthy if you do it with a happy feeling.
For example…you could say…
im thinking of you again…it makes me so happy that i could see your face when you were with me…
Or …i love it that you were on this planet once.