It is not wrong for a person being bullied to think,
I want to get along with everyone, I’m not going to fight back,
scream, hit someone, show them who’s boss.
Many times a person who finds themselves in this situation,
never something they deserve by the own behavior,
though many will say they did,
have to not succumb to the level, don’t self-destruct,
don’t make yourself an aggressor by defending yourself
to a person or group of people so volatile and hostile.
This is not neighborhood squabbles you work out.
Bullying is a real epidemic that everyone is responsible for,
if they don’t report it, or follow along.
It is not your responsibility to make this right again,
often it won’t work, and you know it, so you avoid,
remain silent, and eventually try to remove yourself,
because the remedy is determined by them, and not you.
This is very insightful… I was bullied throughout middle and high school. It still has a deep effect on me.
You used to say “fight back, you gotta fight back”… unless I read this wrong you’re saying the opposite? Just checking… and imo you can balance fighting back and turning a cheek.
The aggressor wants you to fight back, get angry, retaliate, that’s the whole point of bullying. This reserve psychology that you make yourself a victim is what you do to fight against what they want from you, and know what’s right, and what’s wrong. You don’t reward a bully
It is terrible to be on the receiving end of a bully be it physical or psychological. I am tall and large build so I’m not easily bullied physically but I’m a gentle giant so I’m easily bullied psychologically. But slowly but surely I’ve learnt to ignore bullies and how to get away from them. Bullies can manipulate you in more ways than you can think of.
I’ve seen the best on LinkedIn when being attacked for personal appearance, or race, or intelligence, laugh at these people’s best intentions to cripple you, to make fun, or to discredit you. Laughing at an attempt to undermine you, their own inane behavior or words, is when you realize it’s their problem. It’s always their problem
If you are able to laugh at what someone is mocking in you, and go along temporarily, maybe you are stronger than me, and have one up on not being affected. I’ve precondition that makes me sensitive to most personal affronts. But I’m trying harder.
The bully may have a bad background home life whatever but it gives them no right to bully anyone…I will bully a bully into crying if need be…you don’t bully around me you will get your feelings hurt…does this make me a bad person @daze…
Angela has told me many stories about bullies while she was in prison…Angela is a tough woman and she would always fight the bullies before they tried to take advantage of her. the day before Thanksgiving when I was in the eigth grade an older student punched me in the mouth with a roll full of quarters in his hand…the doctor said I needed stitches but I begged them not to and because of that I have a small nub of scar tissue inside my lower lip.
A person being subjected all day to a classroom of trying to get the person to fight this private and personal war, will likely not take the invitation, and you call that victimization, and I call that standing strong, until you realize your own life is more important than constantly having to defend, and you get out.
The truth is more often than not, if someone is chasing you down the street throwing sticks and rocks at you, you just run, you don’t turn around and say, Hey, I was the first place finisher in the debate club, give it up. Read Frank O’Hara. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone.
A bully can grow into a whole classroom. You might have meetings with your teacher to work out difference, since conflict mainly comes out when you talk about it, then resolve, but the fight against a personal affront is not the same as fighting for your opinions, or beliefs, and you may not say, Here’s all the great things I’ve done to prove them wrong. Your great things will be further put down. You as a great person will be your last chance to defend, and if that is what you try, and doesn’t work, then your idea of yourself has been compromised, and you should leave.
that can be DID in the dealing, ways we use to avoid the scenario, and happens often in bullying. It will push us further into a coping mechanism we don’t even realize until it is repeated, or used with drugs, alcohol, or running away later in life that we developed naturally through the trauma.
When I went into out patient rehab, the intake worker wanted to know my history, and ended up telling me the bullying in childhood is coming out in adulthood, and that is the root of my problems. There’s more including a rare blood condition that puts me at greater risk of preconditions, but it’s proven that over time, emotional and mental traits show themselves in coping with disadvantages, same with poverty, sexual abuse, or physical abuse.