As a fellow struggling with schizophrenia himself, I found Elyn Saks memoir to be very inspirational. Although everyone’s schizophrenia is different, I was able to get a lot out of the book. Her details of what it’s like to be in psychosis are impressive. As was her ability to bounce back everytime an episode would occur in her life.
She seems to have been able to bury herself in work throughout most of her life, and it is with this work ethic of hers, that it was almost impossible for her to fail. It’s impressive that she was able to cope with her mental illness and also excel with her coursework at Vanderbuilt undergrad, then Oxford graduate school, and then again at Yale law school.
And it was courageous of her to come out with this “tell all” being that she has a good job teaching nowadays, at a law school in Los Angeles. With schizophrenia and the stigma associated with it, it is easy, almost impossible not to have a “spotty history” regarding who you have let in, and who you have kept it secret from, with several shades of gray in between.
One dissenter friend of hers for example, warned that she should publish under a pseudonym because “Did she really want to be known as the [schizophrenic with a job]?” But her rationale was the same as mine which I found supportive. First she thought, “Is that all I am?”, and in addition she felt that a big part of her motivation for writing the memoir was to help lessen the burden of stigma that mental illness comes with. It would have been much less effective if she had written her life story under a fake name.
Fortunately for me I do not share Elyn Sak’s pattern of trying to go it alone when it comes to family, and also medication. Personally I went off medication once for a year and everything was going well until suddenly the wheels fell off the bus, and I spent a good month not knowing what was real. I thought for example that the mafia wanted me dead and that they were planning something sadistic for me.
After living through that nightmare of an experience I will never go without my prescribed medication again. But it took Ms. Saks several trial and error periods throughout her 20s and 30s before she learned this lesson as well. She felt that if she used meds(drugs) it meant she was weak, or defective. It took a lot of time and talk therapy before the lesson was finally ingrained in her.
I learned in the memoir that reading is important because Elyn Saks is an avid reader, and it is my assumption that this probably helped boost brain power, and made her more prepared to tackle her life’s challenges. It is probably a big part of the reason for why she was able to make the amount of friends she did, friendships that spanned decades of time and thousands of miles of distance. I respect people who take in books, and/or have a passion for reading. Mostly because I struggle with it. But I think it made her more interesting, and gave her more to talk about. One drawback to the book if anything is that Ms. Saks does not stuggle with the so called negative symptoms of the disorder(traits which are not present but should be). She doesn’t struggle with avolition as I do.
Still I found her story inspiring and was really glad at the end to learn that she found a man who loves her and that they are together today. Her story really hammers home what is important, and that is, work you find meaningful, and also relationships and connections with family and friends.
I’m eager to read more about the disorder that affects me, as well as eager to teach what I learn as well.