i am soooo angry with myself right now. i just went to the bathroom to shower and i couldn’t do it. couldn’t get naked…there’s lock on the bathroom door for god’s sake but i just couldn’t do it. instead i washed my hair with the shower and then sat on the loo and shampooed and rinsed my genitals. then i came back into the bedroom and scrubbed the rest of me with baby wipes. so i am clean but i would dearly love to get in the shower or bath. that also means i can’t shave my legs or bits. my arm pits i can do at the sink though. luckily i have a waxing pot so i can wax or epilate instead…at least i’m clean i guess but i’m still angry. my reticence stems from abuse, i know that and if i don’t get a handle on this soon then my abusers have won one of many battles i face each day and i’m not ■■■■■■■ having it. somebody remind me on tuesday that i have to shower or bathe…need your help here. sorry for the language. 
I think that way too, they watch me and comment on me or rape me wherever I am. It’s hard, but I love your words-cussing or not you’re not giving in.
That’s the ■■■■.
Oops,
I meant the stuff…
Sounds like you washed anyway, isnt that something :thumbsup
But sounds like you need to work on it a bit,
I havent washed for a while myself and my friend has a brand new large shower I can use, my hair is the worst, it’s getting itchy.
Haven’t showered in three to four days.
Didn’t clean at the VA
and I’m going to try to take a shower tonight.
Its been about 2 weeks for me I think, feels like longer
I was going to suggest washing in your underwear, or maybe a bikini? I am sorry you are so upset.
That’s a great idea!
WHen I wrestled we group showered, but we wore underwear because it was just really awkward somehow. I was pretty shy in a lot of ways as a kid. Someday I want to have the most confidence, and I think my military training is the best example of learning to just keep going and knowing that pain is just weakness leaving the body. I’m going to survive, and prove everyone wrong.
Then…
I’m going to fricking rock.
you’re right. at least i’m clean. when all else fails, hair and bits wash and baby wipes do the trick! cheered up a bit now. thanks guys
Well you inspired me to wash anyway,
Feel better now, I think not washing frequently brings me down and I need reminded and encouraged to wash.
jaynebeal aww hun I totally understand I have to sleep in my clothes years spend homeless …your only safe with clothes on. don’t give yourself a hard time about it. its not your fault.
I’m glad they didn’t censor your title.
hey , you washed…i’m heading towards 3 weeks again…of no washing.
i admire you jaynebeal…don’t be so hard on yourself.
take care from 
Engaged in a bit of language cleanup in the original subject. Hope that is okay.
Pixel.
(Wearing moderator hat.)
@jaynebeal
I’m sorry you had this hit you. I hope you can find a way to fight past the trauma.
You still managed to do what you needed to do, and I still think your an amazingly strong person.
A shower is a hard thing to face. There was a time I used to wear my swim suit to take a bath. Good luck and I’m rooting for you.
yes dreamer, you are sooo right. being dirty does bring you down most definitely. we need to make a concerted effort. if you can’t shower dreamer, just wash your hair and invest in some wet wipes. you can get two packs of tesco value ones for around 90 pence or go for the johnson’s ones for about 1.90 a pack and they smell lovely and you get about 70 wipes in one pack. great for days you’re not doing too well and don’t want to move. you can just sit on your bed or sofa and wipe away the grime. then all you need to do is wash your hair which takes about 5 minutes to do. roll on tuesday and i will get in that bloody shower if it kills me!! x