So my bf has been in a mood lately. Yesterday he finally told me why. He thought I must be cheating on him since we only have sex a few times a month, I must be getting it somewhere else. I felt really sad. It’s my libido, I just feel sexless asexual. Except for the week of my period, then I get a little frisky. I explained that in no way would I ever cheat and that I have no libido. He seemed to have empathy and calmed down.
I guess to maintain the relationship maybe I need to make more of an effort even though I have no desire to. I mean I want him to be happy and fulfilled.
By mood I mean stand off-ish and distant. He said he’s been working himself up all week and angry thinking about all the reasons why we aren’t having sex.
I empathize with you. I’m homoromantic asexual and I feel that I can’t provide what my boyfriend needs in the bed. Forcing yourself to make an effort can be exhausting and emotionally numbing. I mean for me I like to see my boyfriend happy, but it comes at a price because I don’t like sex.
Yes. Schools been kind of off to a rough start this semester. Saw the pdoc Tuesday and made a med change for focus, concentration, and depression. Took the 1st pill today so hopefully that will kick in quick because I have a test next Tuesday.
Plus the bf is going thru a rough patch in his own life. He’s pretty depressed too.
Yeah, and he knows when I’m just doing it to humor him and get it over with. It’s really depressing. I try to relax and enjoy it. Then I end up beating myself up for not, not being a woman enough.
It really is depressing and I beat myself up too. It was embarrassing with my first boyfriend because I only suspected being asexual, then we did it and it was so not enjoyable and he had questions that made me feel embarrassed that I couldn’t deliver.
That is super stress… your managing your own health and the health of others… and still in school while doing it…
I don’t know if there is a normal range… for me it’s a swing… between my job and school and family and her job and school and family… and other factors in life…
there are times where a full month has passed and nothing… but then the next month there is a lot more time and opportunity and willing.
My bfn said that he is frustrated and has given up trying to turn me on. So I said your idea of turning me on is aggressively groping me and invading my space, so I reject you because I’m uncomfortable and overwhelmed. That comment stopped his tirade. So we agreed if he ever gets that way I’ll speak up and he’ll try to be more romantic.
I’m single, but I want s@# about once a month…usually too stressed to perform though. I think anyone that works full time has a really hard time with s@#. Doesn’t help that everyone in America is on a different page.
Whenever I’m stressed out about something, I just can’t have sex. Some things that help me are performing oral sex, and watching/reading porn. Do you masturbate at all, or do you just have no desire to? I spent about two years not wanting sex at all, and when I wanted to start trying again I started with masturbation, just to get back into the feeling.
Nowadays, when I have trouble getting into the mood, I read an erotic story online, and that sometimes gets me ready to have sex. Other times, we start fooling around, and I just can’t get into it, so we stop, no pressure. Then again, I’m not asexual, I just have PTSD. So maybe I have no clue what I’m talking about.
Oh and the other stressful thing was my sediment paperwork to make sure I’m still disabled. It was due on the 26th, I mailed it on like the 16th and the never got it! Stupid me didn’t make a photo copy of it before I mailed it. So I don’t know if I’m going to continue getting ssdi or not. Plus on the forms it asked questions about if you are going to school and if you are you might not be eligible anymore because if you can go to school than you can work.
