Being superior

Being superior makes me miserable. My whole childhood I thought I was God and it became egoistic when I got older. I don’t want to be deaf, dumb, and blind because of my gifts!

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I don’t know much about being superior or feeling superior.

My train of thought is that there is always something to learn.
I do understand ego will almost always be there.

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We have to protect ourselves against ego or pride. Humility is always the right thing to do, it protects us as well as though who cross are path.

My whole life I had a self righteous nature. I overcame that. I was also prone to pride, but not with hate, until I became an adult. I had nothing at all to make me superior, just a very good imagination. Today I draw, write, and play a musical instrument. And I am a good reader, which is a wonder because I’m wacked out of my mind. But of all the artwork I do I won’t be professional for about twenty five years. I will be 75. It’s humbling to be around people, especially the mentally ill, because I look like a child. Maybe the good things I have to offer are like a tree. A tree provides shade for people on a hot day. I really want to play guitar for people because it’s just masterbation if I only play for myself. People can really provide inspiration when they enjoy what I do!

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When I go off meds I start thinking that I am Jesus and that I have Jesus’s magical genes. So I can do miracles even on myself. I thought I could cure cancer, mental illness and every illness that exists. I thought I was the smartest one on Earth and that I am God’s son, the chosen one. I thought I was going to discover a new infinite energy source with no pollution etc

Now I am embarrassed about having such thoughts when off meds.

I even called 911 and told them that I am Jesus and that they should protect me and praise me lol I was so sure of being the king of the world and that I will bring heaven to earth.

Temporally i feel superior, but Sz is far too humiliating.

If you get me on one of “those” days, I can and will be arrogant and condescending. I’ve done it here and in real life plenty. Got no problem admitting it. Am working on it. Fixing me will take years. I figure with my luck, I’ll get all of my issues resolved and die the week after.

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I’m aggressively social but fall down a lot. I wouldn’t say I feel superior to anyone else. I would think with some of what I deal with I’m inferior in a lot of ways but I keep trying. Even when psychotic I soon came around to feeling inferior pretty quickly.

It’s not a continuous thing, but some days I can think ‘Wow there’s so many stupid people’. Then other days I’m thinking 'I’m so ******* thick"

I think I’m the smartest man in the world when I’m off meds! I also thought I was on famous commercials as a kid. I figured since I was the smartest I would make the greatest president of the USA! :joy:


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