Being humbled or humiliated during your recovery

A lot of things that never would have happened to me before I became sick have since happened. For example, Ive been made fun of, Ive been bullied, Ive been looked at as undesirable, but the worst of them all is having been laughed at.
Its almost inevitable with a serious mental illness like sz or sza that this is gonna happen. But it doesn’t make it any easier to tell myself that, oh yea and having your logic questioned or people just writing you off as crazy for not making any sense when you talk, that one has happened too. How do you make peace with these occurrences,
without going postal? I can’t tell you how many times Ive walked away from a conversation having to tell myself that I’m still a good man, when some imbecile without a brain to begin with has had the last say over me.

I would try not to make your emotions too much of a external thinking thing. There is a boat load of ignorant people in this world, who do not understand the severe complications this illness has and other sufferings people go through. Everyone has their own adversaries. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of stuff like that, but I guess you really have to let it go for the better. I guess in laymans terms you can say, all you can do is be the best you everyday.

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And the anger they cause can cause psychotic behavior so it’s a vicious cycle.

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I’ve never had this issue, I guess because I don’t interact with a lot of people. You had someone laugh at you for having this illness? I don’t know most people I talk to just seem disinterested.

What is humbling is that I hallucinate someone that want to destroy me in some way or another. As I go farther and farther in psychosis I can never win. It is humbling in that way. Also while I was recovering I got a job at the census bureau. I hadn’t gotten my ability to talk that well back yet and they just made me seem like an idiot on everything that I did. It felt humiliating whenever I tried to talk to someone. The words would never come to my mind.

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How long did it take for your ability to talk to come back? Mine shows no sign of getting better.

A long time like around a year to two years. I just recently have gotten most of it back. I am basing this off of when I talk with my family. But even then I notice a difference.

lets just say there have been a few times where Ive been teased.
I recently made the mistake of trying to go back to work after having had an episode and I couldn’t communicate well not to mention I had disabling anxiety. I was afraid to go on lunch because I would have to go somewhere by myself. The employees noticed quickly that I couldn’t keep up and I was having trouble thinking clearly. So yea this one guy gave me a hard time, super critical, making fun etc. that was most recently.

How did the guy know you have schizophrenia? Did you tell him?

The boss who was a kid in his 20’s knew that I had some kind of psychological trouble so maybe he told them i don’t know. I always think that the medication gives me away so I tend to avoid public places. I was in bad shape though and had no business working at that time, but still this one guy used to ride my ass and I couldn’t defend myself. It was very embarrassing.