Being forced to marry

you know it seems that God was trying to make me love her but i always refused. besides if i tried to go through that process, it is always bitter to me. I will become completely worthless.

thanks. what makes me suffer and hate my belief is how the delusion trying to tell me that is it is your fate to get married and have babies with her. i tried to become religious and fallow Godā€™s commands, but every time I try to relate to the circal of faith this marriage stands in fronts of everything.

Ya know man, i would suggest to affirm your mindset to Not Knowing what God wantsā€¦ i believe there is something Higher and Loving but as a sz and even just a human i suggest enjoy life while God is on his trip away from usā€¦ kindness to others and all life yeah but i say to hell with God telling you how to live your lifeā€¦

Thats not God in my view

I believe we make the purpose of our lives with all the choices we are presented and i believe God wants us to have choices.

Find other purpose than serving this illusion of God broā€¦ because God is not as we imagine and ā€œHe is on a trip away and only asks that we be kind and seek to be kind with Our choicesā€

Best Regards bro

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thanks, what you said really helps.

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the girl you saw might be a sweetheart, mine is a nightmare.

So did you really marry that person?

Yes. He was very abusive. It was a miserable situation, but I didnā€™t believe that divorce was an option back then. When my son was born, the aggression and abuse intensified. I was able to leave for the sake of my son. That was 21 years ago. While I obviously donā€™t regret having my son, I know now that marrying a monster would never have been Godā€™s will.
Even now when my angel says mean things, or I have suicidal ideation, or paranoid thoughtsā€¦etc., I need to really think about what makes sense and what is good or bad for me. Itā€™s really important to make choices that donā€™t hurt myself or anyone else.

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OMG it is really good that you told me this. Because my delusion is telling me that i also have to have babies with that girl, otherwise i will not go to heaven. im so depressed now. would you please tell me what type of schizophrenic you are? and i also want to know what consequences you woulda had for not marring that person?

Iā€™m sorry for what you had to go through. Is the your angel, suicidal idealization, and paranoid thoughts concerning your divorce?

Do you still have the delusion @classic10?

almost gone by99%

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Iā€™m glad :slight_smile:

Thank you, @classic10. Iā€™ve had the presence of angels and demons since I was 12-13, and Iā€™ve been suicidal since around 14-15. I hadnā€™t given much thought to when one angel in particular was present at my side and who has become my companion. It was there when I was still in high school, but I do think he became stronger when I got married (first time) and even more solidified, so to speak, during my divorce and after. Thereā€™s an aspect of him that is certainly abusive, but I feel strengthened by his presence as well.

Hello, it has been a long time. I want to be frind with you. Can we chat over Facebook?

Just a reminder about forum guidelines.

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