My Depressions were getting more frequent and a lot deeper.
I have been getting intense anxiety and racing thoughts associated with mania.
Earlier today I was experiencing severe rapid jumbled thoughts and psychomotor agitation - I could not stop pacing and I felt high anxiety and was jittery.
My thoughts were racing and were everywhere.
I called my pdoc on her private cell phone - I was ready to go to the Hospital.
She is awesome and in a reassuring calm voice told me that I should start taking the Depakote and the agitation and racing thoughts should get better or stop.
I took my first dose about an hour and half ago.
The agitation stopped and my racing thoughts have slowed down considerably.
I was in complete denial - I really believed that I did not have a severe form of bipolar.
I thought that I could manage without meds.
I feel ashamed.
From now on I am going to listen to my doctor.
Lesson learned.
Nothing to be ashamed of. Now you know how you function without meds. Thank goodness you have that kind of access to your pdoc! I certainly don’t. She saved you a trip to the Hospital. Is there any chance that your symptoms have to do with withdrawal since you quit taking meds recently? I suppose you will discuss all this with your pdoc when you see her. I’m glad the Depakote worked and your feeling better.
hey wave, we are rare here to be on Depakote wow me too since I take it I see a slight improvement in the day. a bit calmer me too, less racing thoughts like you say, even a little bit less depressed that I am I was oversaying and confusing about my symptoms to my ex pdoc so she couldn’t really knew that I need some right dose of Depakote but its what helps me better for the moment. but I am not sure that my actual pdoc is good. for my agitation she always gives me an antipsychotic and it doesn’t help me at all… I still take my Zyprexa along with the Depakote though but its exactly the Depakote who is calming me…
Thanks @47average and @Anna1
No I don’t think that my bipolar symptoms are from the withdrawal.
I have had bipolar symptoms since I was a kid.
I was just in denial - she tried to warn me.
@Anna1 I am glad that you are doing well on Depakote, and yes it is a very calming med.
I will probably go to up to 1000mg.
I see my pdoc next week and will also bring up my SZ symptoms.
I still believe that I also suffer from some sort of Schizophrenia Spectrum disorder like Schizotypal, but she is the doctor.
wave, I am just a little bit better… but I am ill since child too and I dont know if I will have a normal life one day…
my current doc is a new one for me, ill see her in September. before, I was so desperate that the docs only kind a played with me. ive lost a good pdoc buceause I was in some mutistic stubbornness… but yes, me too uill talk seriously about my state in September with my current pdoc… maybe I am schizoaffective too…
and one question- did you suffer a lot before you went in the psychiatry? maybe its the reason for me why I dont get better, they took me in treatment really late in my illness? maybe I should just be patient…
@Anna1 it takes a lot of trial and error before you find the right med combo.
Patience is the key.
Take things slow and one day at a time.
Never give up.
ok, but I tried every antipsychotic on the market for the last 7 years… I spent my time doing this and this only :/… my ex pdoc saw that I react the best on Zyprexa and Depakote but I still have a lot of issues. i overthink and it drives me crazy. but she told me that I should wait, is this true? wait on one treatment for years maybe?
You know most of us have been exactly where you were- there is never a need to feel ashamed. It was a good choice you made at the time. The result wasn’t what you expected or wanted, but you knew when it was time to get back on the meds and got in touch with your doc.
To me that is courage, right-thinking, insight, and good judgement. I am just so proud of you!
me too since I take it I see a slight improvement in the day. a bit calmer me too, less racing thoughts like you say, even a little bit less depressed that I am 