I always say, if you’re going to suffer it may as well be in good surroundings. I left the dumps a month ago. I don’t miss it. The yard was nice and some of the people were cool and I had one quasi friend (50% of why he liked me probably was because I lent him money.) I didn’t get along with all the women there but to their credit, most of them gave me a chance. And I did click with one woman who was pretty cool.
Again, in those
places (downtown in a major city, lots of homeless and punks who took advantage of people who weren’t fully aware). In those places you are not really sure what peoples motives are or what they think of you. I took the woman to get ice cream or milkshakes a few times but she honestly seemed to like me, and god forbid, I think she respected me a little.
This nice, clean, quiet apartment motivates me to make this living situation a success. I’m tired of living with people who’s idea of, “Well, we’re all guys here”, is not flushing the toilet after they poop and if they stop the toilet up they just leave it and if it overflows all over the floor they don’t tell anyone it was them and they just leave it. Or eating garbage out of the trash can in the kitchen with all the scraps off of peoples plates from dinner 6 hours before.
Yeah, I have compassion for people who deserve it and even people who don’t deserve it but that place was a nightmare. They just didn’t care about anybody or what that person had done with his life no matter how good. Well, I guess I learned a few things there including the fact that people who use their time to fool people and use street smarts for power can be so woefully wrong about a person. I just unfortunately have to have more faith in myself. Anyways, things are good now, and clean. And well-lit too, lol.
I live about 85%-90% independently but the clinic who got me here functions as a safety net in maintenance problems, roommate problems, crisis’s, and advice. It’s a sweet set up. The roommate wants to get along too. He feels he’s lucky here too and in an informal meeting this morning with a staff member, he said, He told her, “I like Nick and he’s a nice guy.” And I spoke up and said, 'And Nick intends to stay that way, " and we all had a good laugh about that. Now that I’m thinking about it, I have been laughing a lot these days! I’ve never heard voices, my main positive symptoms are paranoia and delusions. But I’ve always had racing thoughts, probably even before I got sick. But my mind gets totally still now sometimes. I just sit there and that’s the way it is. Wow, this has been a lot of words, I guess I have no choice now but to…
Ramble On
Led Zeppelin
Leaves are falling all around
It’s time I was on my way
Thanks to you I’m much obliged
For such a pleasant stay
But now it’s time for me to go
The autumn moon lights my way
For now I smell the rain
And with it pain
And it’s headed my way
Ah, sometimes I grow so tired
But I know I’ve got one thing I got to do
Ramble on
And now’s the time, the time is now. …Have a nice night folks.