I’ve only been taking it for a week. I was so happy when I realized how helpful it was to me. It took away all my tension at night, prevented me from getting flashbacks or getting sucked into my head or whatever. I could just calmly fall asleep. It also helped me stay asleep so for a week I was actually sleeping entirely through nights for the first time in years. (Have I ever slept completely through the night before? Ever?)
I noticed a couple days ago it didn’t seem to be working as well because I woke up once during the night. But I figured it was just because my roommate was being noisy. The next night I woke up once as well and I realized I was feeling that tension and despair again. Last night was very bad, I felt the tension at its regular intensity and then the demon showed up and basically said I told you so, because they had originally told me that this would happen. Then I was battling with demons for a while. I wanted to cut myself and ended up drawing patterns all over my hand and foot instead. I was tracing lines in anything I could find to try to distract myself.
When I did fall asleep I woke up every two hours. Basically it’s back to how things were before. I’m scared to ask to up my dose or go on Xanax (more potent) because I don’t want to develop dependency.