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Ativan stopped working :(

I’ve only been taking it for a week. I was so happy when I realized how helpful it was to me. It took away all my tension at night, prevented me from getting flashbacks or getting sucked into my head or whatever. I could just calmly fall asleep. It also helped me stay asleep so for a week I was actually sleeping entirely through nights for the first time in years. (Have I ever slept completely through the night before? Ever?)

I noticed a couple days ago it didn’t seem to be working as well because I woke up once during the night. But I figured it was just because my roommate was being noisy. The next night I woke up once as well and I realized I was feeling that tension and despair again. Last night was very bad, I felt the tension at its regular intensity and then the demon showed up and basically said I told you so, because they had originally told me that this would happen. Then I was battling with demons for a while. I wanted to cut myself and ended up drawing patterns all over my hand and foot instead. I was tracing lines in anything I could find to try to distract myself.

When I did fall asleep I woke up every two hours. Basically it’s back to how things were before. I’m scared to ask to up my dose or go on Xanax (more potent) because I don’t want to develop dependency.

My pdoc prescribed me Zolpidem to sleep, doesn’t cause dependency. I was on benzos to sleep too and it’s no good.

This is a problem with benzodiazepines. You have to keep upping your dosage due to tolerance, and then over time you end up on a real high dosage that does nothing. It can also be really hard to get off these medications as well, and people can have severe withdrawals. I am sorry to hear about your sleep problem, and wish you the best.

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I will ask her about it. The benzo was only meant to be used for a couple weeks to deal with any increased anxiety from early side effects from the antidepressants I was on but it’s making me realize how much my sleep is messed up and that I need help there.

@Maynard When I emailed my pdoc (technically she’s not a pdoc, she’s a therapist that is also a nurse practitioner so she can prescribe meds) about it this morning she told me to take two pills at night instead of one. Gah.

I know, same thing happened to me, I slept so good on them! I quit benzos now, and I’m doing good, I was on them for a year.

A year? So did you have withdrawal issues?

No, I tappered off by myself. I figured I had to quit them eventually, why not now? I’m not having anxiety issues, it was just to sleep, and I went from one benzo to half to a quarter.

Ah ok. I read something interesting once that said when people that don’t have pre-existing issues with anxiety start anti-depressants they don’t experience that period of time where they have that extreme anxiety. So I guess it enhances what’s already there, and if you’re not anxious to begin with its not a problem! Maybe it’s the same with benzos, your brain only develops strong addiction and freaks out when you have anxiety issues to begin with? Since you need them to feel like normal?

I don’t think so, a friend of mine got addicted to benzos without anxiety. It would be nice though, that would be cool. I took so little it wasn’t enough to get addicted I think.

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Have you tried meditation before bed? It produces the same relaxation as benzos do. It used to really help me fall asleep. Just a thought :sunny:

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@Anna If I were you I would definitely not go up on your dosage. When you are really anxious, or can not sleep, I understand how well these medications help, but it is only temporary. Then it just turns into a vicious cycle of up dosing for the medication to work, it is just the nature of the medication. @Minnii Good job on deciding to quit these meds and tapering off on your own.

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Yeah I used to do that almost every night. Usually now I either watch guided meditation videos before bed or asmr ones (very relaxing videos!) Still it’s once I start actually trying to sleep the tension starts. Ack. It is helpful though!

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I am almost out of the Ativan anyways. Once I run out I don’t plan on asking for a refill and will probably ask to transition to a non-benzo sleep aid like Minnii.

I really don’t want to become addicted because my grandma had to go to rehab for benzos. If I became addicted to it would just give my parents another reason to hate and mistrust the mental health system.

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