Hi everyone!
It’s been a while since I’ve checked in, but I came across a thought and figured who better to ask than you guys. So I’m back! Anyways, I’m moving back to my hometown soon. I’ve been away for almost 6 months. I’ll be moving back with a former boyfriend (that’s complicated but it should be a safe environment) but I have the overwhelming feeling that I’m going to get worse again. I’ve already started slipping. I’m worried that this living situation will only be temporary and that I’ll be forced to live on my own. I don’t know if I’m capable of that. I don’t want to move back with my family. So I was wondering what a group home would be like. Have any of you ever lived in one? What was it like? How “sick” do you typically have to be? How long did you stay? Was there someone there to give medications?
I’ve lived in 3 group homes, The first one was for 3 years where I was asked to leave and I went from there into my own apartment where I was for 11 years. Then I moved to be closer to my aging mother and lived in a home for 6 years. That one was semi-independent and I left there because I couldn’t do my meds right. So I moved to where I am now, an adult foster care. I’ve been here 12 and 1/2 years. Homes can be good or bad. Part of it depends on the supervision but a lot of it depends on who the other residents are and that changes as time passes. I hope this answers your question. I’d be glad to tell you more if you have any more questions.
First of all thank you for responding! I hope you don’t mind a barrage of questions but here goes. Do you consider yourself high functioning? Do you or did you work while you were staying in any of the group homes? Were you responsible for your own money? Were there curfews? What’s the process of getting into one?
From what I’ve heard, if you want a nice group home you have to have coin to spend. The cheaper ones can be abysmal. Doesn’t mean they all are, I’ve just seen horror stories.
Good to know! Anyone know if this is something insurance will pay for?
I lived in three in my 35 years with paranoid schizophrenia. My first one was 1980 when I was 19 and first diagnosed. This house was unique because it was a world famous house for schizophrenic and the founders idea was that schizophrenics could recover with no medication or no hospitalizations. They bought a house in the middle of an urban neighborhood, staffed it with 5 or 6 staff members who had no formal training in the mental health field but were young, friendly, open-minded people who just mingled with us and supported us. I won’t get into the whole story of Soteria but it failed me and It closed in 1983.
My next group home was called a Residential Treatment Home. It was co-ed and their belief was that people with mental illness would recover better with LOTS of structure. Soteria had no therapy at all, we just hung out and did what we please. But this Residential Treatment Home had two mandatory groups a week, we had mandatory chores, each resident was obligated to cook dinner for all the clients and the staff once a week. We all ate dinner together every night, It was very rare that the staff let anyone out of their responsibilities… This was a very formal place and violence or acting out was just not allowed.
I should say here that I doubt that you will find and group homes that are exactly alike. They all have their similarities but some are nice, safe places, in good neighborhoods and some are older places in bad neighborhoods. I can’t predict how the group homes in your area are or what the rules are. You will have to check them out in person…Some are strict some are lenient. Drugs and drinking are not allowed in the majority of them and violence is not tolerated. i think these last two rules are true of all group homes.
In the Residential Treatment Home we were all high-functioning. Some of us had jobs or went to school or attended a vocational program to prepare us for jobs. My last group home is the most common type of group home in my area and we call it a Board & Care home.Ii stayed in this one for 5 years from 1990-95. It was all men though. The owners were a husband and wife who cooked and cleaned for a dozen of us guys. The people here were not as high functioning as my previous group home. There was no therapy at all. It was a place to have a roof over your head and eat and try to find something to occupy your day.
My group homes were very unlike each other. All I can do is to give you some hints about what to look for if you have some choices for several group homes where you live.
If your transportation is usually a bus than you want a home that is near bus lines. You would want one with a washer and dryer on the premises or near a laundromat. You will be doing your clothes once a week and you don’t want to walk 6 or 7 or 8 blocks once a week carrying a basket of laundry. Check out what’s available in entertainment close by. Is there restaurants close by? Movie theaters? Parks? sporting events? Museums? Art galleries?
Is there a school nearby? A library?
If you are visiting one to see what its like, to see if its clean, safe, warm, with big rooms, and furnished,
Some places do not let you bring much possessions when you live there. most just let you bring in other bare necessities like toiletries, not too many clothes, maybe some books or a radio, they might let you have a small TV for your room but there is usually a TV already in a a living room or common room. You might have to share a room with another person. But I doubt they will let you bring in any furniture or stereo equipment.
Anyways, I hope this helped. It’s a just a bare-bones synopsis to give you an idea of what they’re like.
I’ve lived in an assisted living center in eastern Oklahoma for over fifteen years. I was sent here by a judge. The place I live in isn’t bad. There are about forty of us. Most live in a single building that used to be a housing unit for railroad workers. The place is no resort, but I never had much problem living there. There is also an “independent living program” that is made up of seven of us right now. That is where I currently live. We get to live in our own apartments and buy our own groceries. They give us a week’s worth of medications at a time, which we are responsible for taking. At the building where the other residents live they hand out medications daily as prescribed by a pdoc, usually in the morning and the evening. I can afford an internet connection on the money I get to live on. I am addressing you from my apartment on my computer at this very moment. Just about everybody who lives here can leave any time they feel like it. There is a population of some of us who have been here for years, but most people come here for a few months and then head on down the road. If you’re court committed to these places you have to stay here. I’ve been in a number of other assisted living centers for the mentally ill, at least for a little while. Most of them weren’t too bad places to live. All the assisted living centers where I have lived are a little drab, but I don’t find them depressing or anything. At the building where most of the residents live the toilets often get clogged, but you can always find one that isn’t to use the bathroom. Sometimes some of the people who live here can be pretty messy. They give the smokers here one pack of cigarettes a day. They give the people who don’t smoke the money they would have spent supplying them with cigarettes - fifty dollars a month. In the apartments we get around sixty or seventy dollars a month to supply us with our daily needs. They also have little jobs that they pay us to do. I get paid $10.00 a week to clean four bathrooms twice a week. Others get paid three dollars a day to wash the dishes we use. The only assisted living center I came across that I really wouldn’t want to live in was in Howe, Oklahoma. It was very structured. They stayed in day treatment until 4:00 pm. We go to treatment from 8:00 am to 2:30 pm. It might pay to shop around in different assisted living centers if you’re serious about coming to one. That way you can check for things that you like and things that you don’t like.
I live in an assisted living facility. And it’s expensive. They raise the rent over $100/mo. every year like clockwork. And my income is absolutely stagnant. I can see myself having to move out of here in a few years. What I’m going to do then is anybody’s guess. I might try to room with somebody I know.
I consider myself high functioning now but when I was first in a group home, I was not high functioning at all. I have worked in a sheltered workshop while in this home. Yes, I’m responsible for my own money but not all of my housemates are. 11 pm curfew in this home. Semi independent didn’t have a curfew. I think you might be referred to one by a case manager or therapist. I get a little more than straight social security because I live in Adult Foster Care, it comes from SSI - Supplemental Security Income.
I have to say, this was VERY informational. It makes me happy to know so many of you switch homes. It lets me know that I won’t be tied to one place if I ever felt I needed to leave. Also I didn’t realize you could tour these homes before choosing to live in one. I’ll have to talk to my therapist about it. Another thing. I consider myself high functioning, I work and will be going to school shortly. I also drive. Probably not for long because I’m really not okay enough to drive anymore but still I drive. Would that change my ability to get into a home that you know of?
Also very informational. Thank you. Money worries me a lot. So it’s good to know there are places out there that help with that. I like the sound of the place you live. I hope to find something like that in my hometown. I like that there’s a little bit of structure but that you get to keep most, if not all, of your freedom. Wish me luck in my search.
I don’t know. In the Board & Care home I was in, the owner didn’t allow anyone to drive or own a car. In the five years I was there, he made only one exception. There was a resident in his late thirties who had a PHD I believe. A very smart guy. The owner let him drive. It would be something for you to ask a potential landlord over the phone or in person.
Incidentally, the PhD guy invited me to go see Pink Floyd live in concert. The owner OK’d it and I went and saw Pink Floyd and I had a great time.
Hey @Brittany Remember me??? Turningthepage??? I stayed in a group home twice near where you lived in new haven. If you want more info then pm me!!!
I was actually thinking about you today. Weird how that happens…
No fraternizing with the troops while I’m on duty @chew.
The Group Home/Apartment that I might be moving into is all male.
Is there such thing as Group Homes that mix sexes - male/female?
I was kind of disappointed to know that it was going to be all male, lol
Yes @Wave , I’ve lived in a couple that had both men and women. And I’ve also lived in one that was just men.
With the co-ed house there was a little hanky-panky going on now and then. I guess that is the only benefit of being schizophrenic.
The one I am in is both female and male. All the assisted living shelters I have been to in Oklahoma were integrated both male and female. Now that I think about it, most of the psychiatric hospitals I have been in the women and the men were kept separate.
The Psych Hospital where I stayed at was co-ed
The rooms were divided - separated.
Same at the VA, they had roving nurses checking us every ten minutes at night. Shining a flashlight in our rooms to check on us. It’s nauseating, but I’ve never been in a group home I’ve been in transitional housing though. That really stunk lol