As a child pre teen had issues

DX'd - Other
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I don’t know if anyone can relate to any of this
I masked to try and fit in with family and friends, to get on with them i would fake it, had anxiety from very young age
I would prefer to be around one kid or on my own i couldn’t deal with more than
I couldn’t remember anything in class despite how hard i tried, i used to copy maths and other school work from my best friend
I was fearful of adults
Sensory issues to noise and touch

Not much has changed except no longer in school
I still mask fake to try and be normal and to get on with family
I find eye contact difficult
I still have anxiety and im still fearful of everyone, its never gone away
I plan everything in my head before going out because im afraid of being out of my comfort zone so i rarely go out

Its definitely not just an autism thing masking, social anxiety and sensory issues.

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i had everything except faking it. i realised its all in my head now am happier :smiley:

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I remember when I was 19 I would mask to socialize with a big people group, I had an involuntary tic because of that and it went away once I wasn’t hanging around on big groups.

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Camouflaging or putting on my best normal is something that has become more and more normal as the years go by, rehearsing conversations in my head before meeting up with a friend. Putting on a brave face, acting as normal as i can despite true self feelings

Its more common in females than males with autism i read but im not sure i have autism? I had no development delays

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I have autism and adhd and I found everything you said relatable. Not everyone with autism has developmental delays.

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Thanks @anon19606225 i don’t know what is mental illness ie schizophrenia or something else. I haven’t been open enough with pdoc team etc. I hold a lot back

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I get that I didn’t tell them a lot of things at the start either the stuff that took me to get help was scary and new, it took me some time to be more open, honestly I suspected autism a lot of years before getting diagnosed.

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I struggle with eye contact a lot too. And also plan everything i do meticulously. Down to what im going to say. I cant spontaneously speak much. No more than a short sentence.

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Do you have autism @Ozzyskits because i thought i seen your username on a similar topic here when i looked before

Im quiet i cant either

This feels really strange

I was asked by a work manager years ago did i have autism
And my sister thinks i do but its weird i never believed it

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I’ve always been somewhat different/out of sync. An ‘oddball’ you might say. I’ve always struggled to make friends, my late wife being the solitary exception to that. I find it very hard to initiate F2F conversations. Have never been able to intuitively grasp the unspoken rules of social engagement in the way that even a rather unexceptional NT can. Like many late dxed with ASD(Aspergers) I was severely bullied,especially so at public school(private boarding 13-18).

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@firemonkey unfortunately i can relate to part, im sorry you went through this too.

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@firemonkey

I thought autism was delayed development as a child
I had a lot of anxiety and fear, i was very quiet , masked, camouflaged, socially inept all still applies

Is it worth asking doctor do you think?

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Try some of these . There is one re ‘camouflaging’ .

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Thanks ive already scored high on the tests online

I don’t trust an online test properly thats why i wanted other people’s views and to see if anyone could relate, so far you all can which makes me think it might be an idea to mention it

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The online tests are ,of course, not diagnostic tools. However they should strengthen or weaken the feeling that it would be worthwhile to seek an assessment.

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I do the tests occasionally but i always talked myself out of taking it any further

Im off to bed now, chat again nice chatting to you all

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I was weird as a toddler. Even as a baby i would cry 6 hrs straight every evening. As a toddler i was anxious. So anxious if my mom put me in a room with other people, i would stand frozen like a statue and not interact with anyone. A doctor pointed out my lack of eye contact around age 2. By age 11 i was on antipsychotics.

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@irrelevant whats wrong? Up late i see

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Mods can you close this topic ive had answers

Thanks @anon55031185 @Bowens @Ninjastar @anon4362788