How did you go about being diagnosed? Does it give you peace of mind to knowing that you have this and its not something you could have prevented or controlled with meds? I have watched a few videos about adult women who are later diagnosed with autism, and it seems it would provide some answer or relief. I always feel like something is missing in my labels. I have been labeled with just about everything but autism because the therapist at the time said I was too “high functioning” to be labeled with autism and that you only get a label if it limits you…
as a young girl I had a semi-photographic memory, and I still do-I remember stupid details that no one else does. it got overwhelming at a certain point where I could not forget anything, and I could remember the entire week, what i had for breakfast, what I thought at a certain hour of the day–that was before my breakdown in boarding school. I have always just been unusual…
but as far as hallucinations and delusions…I dont really have those–or they have been brief and I have never been completely lost from them…its more like, noise and sound is too bright or too loud, and people telling me things but I never responded appropriately…when I was young I also Liked to swing or spin in circles all the time…I had routines that I repeated every day…was in my own little universe…but I wasnt talking to things…although at certain points I did have this weird affinity toward items thinking objects carried energy or life…hard to describe…since I know about it Im smart enough not to be like that…
and then with fitting in I still dont understand makeup, trends, genders, feminism, I still dont understand certain things that normal people do…and when people say I have a “flat affect” its more like I just dont process emotions the same and I never have, since childhood. Its not that I lack emotion, its that the emotions were never there to begin with—like, Im not a sociopath I just dont feel emoitons the same way which would be called depression, or avolition, but it never seemed right to me.
moreso I just want to understand what makes me different…or something else other than schizophrenia…I have taken online tests and I always get autism but zero for schizophrenia and zero for bipolar…of course things do change…the thing is all these labels I can be them if I want to is there anything about me that is unchanging? There is no explanation for me…nothing that proves why I am so uniquely different than others…
I work really hard at being able to communicate. Nothing has come easy to me…
Things of worth generally don’t come easily. They take sustained effort over a considerable length of time. Dave Grohl nailed it:
“Musicians should go to a yard sale and buy an old ■■■■■■■ drum set and get in their garage and just suck. And get their friends to come in and they’ll suck, too. And then they’ll ■■■■■■■ start playing and they’ll have the best time they’ve ever had in their lives and then all of a sudden they’ll become Nirvana. Because that’s exactly what happened with Nirvana. Just a bunch of guys that had some shitty old instruments and they got together and started playing some noisy-ass ■■■■, and they became the biggest band in the world.”
Expect to spend a long time sucking at things before you crest the hill and start not sucking at them.
maybe there just isn’t anything wrong with me…because every psychiatrist I go to its like Im either telling them my label or they just guess…I have been called schizo, bipolar, adhd, affective, depressed, and the ones they didnt label with were borderline and autism…
A lovely lady who was a psychologist put me forward for an assessment because she ‘suspected’ it. My old pdoc apparently did know, but didn’t want to burden me with more diagnoses… He was right to do that.
Not at all. It left me in a state of unpicking everything in my life that I could blame this on, and it made me into a lesser human for a period of about 3-4 months - where I was understanding that I had been treated so badly.
Bittersweet the feeling of prolonged injustice and resentment of others.
I am not going to comment further on whether you have it or not. Get assessed if you can get it for free…
Ditto. I had done some random online tests in the past, but I kinda just put it down to characteristics rather than thinking I was what the internet was telling me
I spent over 1.5 decades at my previous address periodically mentioning autism/ that there was more going on than mental illness to mental health workers. I was ignored time and time again.
First appointment after moving my s/dau was with me. She raised the question of autism as she has worked with autistic people, and had seen my FB comments re autism. The pdoc asked a string of questions and got me to do some tasks with my hands. The latter resulted in being told I was quite dyspraxic. The answers to his questions? That autism and sz were the most likely dxes. Two weeks later I had an appointment date. 7 months later I had the Asperger’s dx.
Has there been any help and support? No! There’s very very little help for autistic adults in the UK.