I was in Vermont and at an aa meeting I met a very Italian guy and I go to approach him and tell him I’m the son of an Italian woman from the Bronx (he was from the Bronx) but he shunned me, didn’t let me speak with him, cuz I look like a mutt. Many male Italian Americans are dicks to me probably cuz my mother married a Jew. Even though I identify most with it they shun me, there goes my acceptance. Even though I’ve never been to temple, Jews are relatively accepting of me cuz I have a Jewish last name and Jews have been oppressed for so long, gotta stick together you know…I was raised catholic but stopped church going at ten. Now I believe in god after bouts with atheism but no particular religion. People most nice to me are older blacks and all Hispanics. We seem to get each other but most whites seem to be cruel to me. Idk never met a Hispanic I don’t get along with for some reason.
Im Naught Exactly Nervous About My Extended Family … ,
It’s Jus That If Someone Doesn’t Agree With Me , They Kinda Roll Their e(Y)e’$ and Look Around As If To Say , “yeah please someone get me out of here” … ,
About 2ish Or Perhaps Sooner … Comas Erase T(Y)me Measure … ,
Or At Least In My Case … ,
But It Was During New Years Eve and I Wanted To Spend T(Y)me With My Aunt and Uncle During Tha New Year and Perhaps See Some Fireworks With Them , and Maybe Lite Up Some Memories Of Tha Days Before Nonsense … ,
So I Talked To A Neighbor Oddly Enough and Asked Her If She Would Give Me A Ryde To See My Aunt and Uncle … ,
So She Was Really Nyse About It (since she really doesn’t know me) and She Said “sure!” … ,
So Boomshakalaka (!!!) ,
and Jus An Hour OR So Before I Asked Her For A Ryde ,
I Was Sitting Behind Tha Front Door Crying , Wishing I Had Friends and A Family That Cared Enough To Even Give Me A Call Once In A While … ,
But Things Were Looking Better ,
So We Finally Made It To My Family’s House and Blah Blah Blah … ,
and THEN ,
I Was Talking To My Aunt and Looking At Tha Walls and Was Pretending Tha Walls Were Talking To Me … ,
I Was Being A Complete A-Hole … ,
So I Would Glance At Tha Wall While She Was Sitting , and I Would Be Lyke , " Fo Reel , No Way , Oh Man That’s Weird !" … ,
and It Was Fun , Can’t Lie , But She Looked At Me Lyke She Wanted Me Dead and Jus Sat There With Reddened e(Y)e’$ Lyke I Insulted Tha Queen Of Tha Universe … ,
So It Went On For ABout 15 Min’s and Then I Started Getting Serious About Tha Family and Blah Blah Blah , But After My Stunt , Nothing Was Being Heard … ,
So I Get Out Of Tha House , My Neighbor Was Waiting In Tha Car and My Aunt Walked Up and Said Some Things That I Couldn’t Hear To My Neighbor … ,
and THEN ,
It Got Really Disgustingly Weird … ,
My Aunt Withered Her Finger and In A Gravelly Voice Started Pointing Tha Finger At Me and Said “im going to touch you” … ,
I Freaked Out and Backed Away and Blah Blah Blah … ,
and THEN She Stamped Her Way Into her House and Closed Tha Door … ,
She Went In To Call Tha Police … ,
and She D(Y)D … ,
and A Few Min.s Latur A Cop Arrived With An Ambulance … ,
Tha Asked Me About 30T(Y)mes Tha Sayme Questions … ,
I Was Internally Freaking Out At Thus Point … ,
He Kept Asking , “WHAT ARE GOING TO DO WHEN YOU GET HOME ?” ,
I Kept Saying As Normal As Possible " lissen to some music and chill . " ,
Then Tha Paramedics Walked Up To me and Said , “lift up your sleeves” … ,
I Had No Cutting Scars Or Anything So They Left … ,
Finally The Cop Left After he Went Inside My Aunts House and Asked Me One More T(Y)me After He Finsished Questioning Her , He Asked If It Was Ok To Go Back Home With My Uncle … ,
and Of Course I Said YES … ,
and There Was My New Years Eve …
Oh God, that is so sad 
But its not your fault. Nor is her fault. You both probably were not prepared for each others company at that point.
Have you ever seen her again?
I Have Seen Her A Couple Of T(Y)me$ Since … ,
We Get A-Long … ,
But e(Y)e Am Tha One Who Apologized … ,
Not Once Has She Said Tha Sayme Word … ,
But To Be Honest I Am Beyond Words … ,
Beyond In Tha Sense That I Tried … ,
and I Don’t Hate Her For It … ,
It’s Jus That With What I Have Been Throo ,
I Have To Say To Myself : " I AM NOT JESUS THERE IS NO FORGIVENESS HERE " … ,
" no forgiveness HAHA no Salvation HAHA " - Marilyn Manson
As Dark As That One Sounds …
Doing better then I used to…
I take the family in small doses… at the big gathering… run errands… paly taxi driver…
See them for 10 to 15 minutes at time…