To me it is virtually impossible to be happy when one’s dopamine is diminished.
Like a physical impossibility and limitation.
People fake it to themselves hoping desperately to convince themselves they are happy, but it is like a delusion.
The higher the meds the lower one feels.
You can take an AD instead and then not care about being unhappy, but then you lose the ability to orgasm.
Still, an AD removes the abiity to not feel so low, but clinically you can’t feel true joy either. That is a scientific fact.
So take your coffee, caffeine pills and other supplements to try and get a dopamine hit, and also worsen symptoms, but those on APs can’t experience happiness and joy like the rest of humanity can.
Tell me how happy you are, convince yourself that you are if it works for you, but a chemical that sucks the joy out of life proves otherwise.
I’m pretty sure I know when I’m feeling joy despite being on the max dose of Wellbutrin (suicidal ideation when not taking it). Put a paddle board on a river or give me a camera on a nature walk and I am vibin’ hard. Find the right dance tune and my feet move no matter how bad my negs are. Being at an AA meeting and seeing someone struggling get their first 30 day chip. An unexpected hug from my wife or kid. Getting a nooge on the chin from my kitty. It’s just an awesome feeling when it hits.
Joy is transient for me, but there are bursts of it and I appreciate them.
I hurt myself besides suffering from sza. It doesn’t do much good to have positive thoughts but don’t let yourself get negative either. Yes, I hurt myself, I made schizophrenia worse than it needs be. I have to forgive myself and try to respect myself again. I’m depressed and being around people might not be a solution since I lose my sense of self. Life is meaningless but I don’t think about that. I feel better when I play guitar. I have a myriad of gifts so I don’t think I should commit suicide. I can still laugh from time to time not like my drug addict friend who hasn’t laughed in decades.
You’re an important part of this community and you are appreciated. We’d sure miss you if you stopped coming. If nothing else you help fulfill the lives of others?
meds make it so that it’s like a hardcore stale overcast bad-news bored less-interested-in-existing day where you’re searching for that thing to give you that spark to snap you out of it but there is nothing substantial anywhere ever, or if there is something you find it’s a smothered shadow.
I feel this. Couldn’t have said it better. I’ve been like this for over a year now. It’s a horrible existence and it impedes on everything else. My mood, my hobbies. Any source of fun and enjoyment feels less than substantial.
Your unhappiness @labratmat, is probably due to depression and not due to sz high dopamine levels, nor due to low dopamine levels from AP’s.
For instance, I’m sza bipolar type and I take three different atypical AP’s and an SSRI AD and I have been almost completely free of depression and suicidality for the last 20 years. I also very regularly engage in multiple hobbies, interests and activities all of which I enjoy very much. These have a LOT to do with my level of, and continuing degree of wellness, which is moderate to excellent.
I speak for myself that I am as happy as anyone on antipsychotics. It is all situational in my personal opinion. Someone with no mental illness at all could still be in a bad situation. I have all I need and want. I would not want to be anyone else. I don’t think humanity has experienced any happiness that I have not experienced while on antipsychotics. Wanting happiness from dopamine for me goes into the issue of addiction. I think happiness can come from having goals for me and seeing improvement. I actually like being happy and want to be happy. I personally don’t think others are happier then me.
