im currently 20 but was diagnosed at age 17 that i was paranoid schizophrenic and borderline. its been hard navigating though things recently.
i clean peoples yards so i drive house to house. the other day i was driving to a yard and there was a van behind me for a few minutes and i started getting paranoid that they were following me because i was making many turns to this house. i could see that it was a van with multiple people and i kept looking back. as i got closer to the neighborhood i was going to the passenger pulled out his phone and was pointing it at my truck. i didn’t want to draw to conclusions that they were videoing my truck but when i turned into the neighborhood they drove past but his phone turned facing my truck as i turned.
i parked infront of the customers house and was scared to get out. after a few minutes i got out and rushed to the back yard and the gate wouldn’t fully close so the whole time i was in the yard i swear i saw them opening the gate and coming in but when i turned to look at the gate no one was there. this happen over and over while i was working at this house. like a day dream that keeps playing. i was SA in the past so it was more of those kind.
before opening a door in my head ive already opened it and someone is behind it trying to hurt me and ive already done the action but i kind of some back to where i am and the door is closed so i choose not to open.
I read up about this. I was comparing daydreams to hallucinations. Daydreams are such that you can control what’s happening. Hallucinations are such that you can’t control them. Does this sound like what’s happening to you?
i cant control them, its like a scene of a movie that plays infront of me, like i go brain dead when it happens and i cant hear when people are talking to me durring.
I can’t control my hallucinations either. I used to think they were daydreams when I was a teenager. My Hallucinations were a problem back then because I thought they were premonitions of things to come. I even started planning my life around what I was seeing in my hallucinations, including shaping my college education. I can hear people talking to me when I’m having them though.
It sounds like you’re having hallucinations. I had hallucinations that I believed were real and then they became delusions. Maybe this is happening to you.
I think i know what u mean. I call them “visions”. Like ive seen in a vision people watching me or i see visions lately of people saying insulting things to or about me. Closest i can describe it is a vision.