my ■■■■■■■ roommate makes me feel like a piece of ■■■■ whenever I motor-mouth about even music or whatever else that i like. or if i just talk about anything at length. if its “too long”. the move is to just not say anything to em so i’m just proceeding to not do that.
bad moment last night involved being kind of made fun of over it. i think it’s just tied to some other whatever and probably not actually some personalized diss (it wouldn’t really make sense if it was considering a lot of stuff i’m not mentioning here) but i also remembered how me being a huge talker is a lifelong thing and i … definitely know from meeting others that it’s a bipolar disorder symptom, but i also hear it’s a schizophrenia (& i imagine also schizoaffective) phenomenon. was wondering if anyone relates
I’m very quiet in real life. My wife has to explain to people that I don’t dislike them (the odds are that I actually do dislike them quite a bit), but that I am taciturn. I am silent to the point of being unnerving.
had to remember this because i think times i say nothing my mind just auto-hides from my memory but i have quite a lot of experience just idling even around people in real life when conversations occur and i just kind of study people talking and look at them and stuff. i’m not really noticed (i just get ignored a lot i think because i Don’t Really know what to do in situations like that, i suppose, even if i do try to talk it’s dashed) but i think people have definitely observed that something is just kind of
up. with me. i dunno if unnerved is the word i’d use but.
me in due time it feels like. just making myself talk less. not really difficult like i thought it’d be but it’s a lot to wrap my head around because of (very hard to get into easily)
advice noted, i think i know what kind of stuff i need to do in due time when i can actually get out on the road
i will say i just do not know people like that who understand psychosis well and people i talk to who are not schizophrenic tend to either get annoyed/irritated as heck at me in due time or grow i guess scared as hell of me so i just see better fit to keep to myself. frustrating but i don’t know what to do about it.
oh well there we go. same here. i think i’m just kind of like that by default (even when depressive i say too much. the pace is just different) but it becomes Terrible when i get manic. hahahahahaha
I think I’m highly verbal but low energy for someone with schizophrenia. I have schizoaffective bipolar type. I drink monsters and I think it helps me talk more and give me more mental energy. I’m chronically depressed. It’s caused a lot of problems for me.
i’m also chronically depressed! i have a lot of energy or i don’t. i highly suspect i’ve schizoaffective bipolar type (i think i am kind of regularly psychotic and at points catatonic and very often apparently gibberish-y without even noticing until after) which you’d think would put me off of energy drinks but i think i go for them for fun. i also don’t really want to anymore until i get more of myself together but they help me with mood stuff. even THAT’S a problem.
i think i just want people around me who get it. i don’t really know people who are schizo-spec like that at all. it hurts
schizophrenia is in my immediate family, proper diagnosed in my eldest sibling but i have wondered if my dad’s had it for a while. it’d make sense considering a…lot about him
