I am basically shy but in adulthood I am forced to do things that are scary that go against my basic nature. I am the same person I always was but now I have to go into crowded Social Security offices. I have to work around many people at once. I attended college for almost 5 years and ate in the cafeteria and went on a field trip. Something that I used to dread. I have lived with women. In close quarters. For long periods of time I can’t COMPLETELY ignore my old self. When I was 22 I lived in a house with older men and young women. We had two groups a week and for a year I said almost nothing. It used to drive everybody crazy. When I was addicted to crack I acted totally out of character. I used my friends, I manipulated strangers, I conned people out of drugs. I walked down deserted streets regularly alone, back and forth from my city to the city where I got drugs. Multiple times at night. Met strangers every other night and partied with them in crack houses. I thought i was brave but I just lucked out that I didn’t get REALLY, seriously hurt. Like Surprised said, I probably got out of several beatings because I was friendly and not aggressive. Aside from having a bottle broken over my head from behind and robbed, being beat with a club over mistaken identity, punched in the face over a bad crack deal, and too many numerous close calls to list, I escaped my addiction and came out relatively unscathed.
1 Like
I love hearing your story nick77.
1 Like
I think many of us have stories like that. I guess one thing to look at is what you have gained from it is streetwisdom or being more streetwise. Which I have been told is quite appealing to many people. I think the big thing is not to be hard on yourself you were young and there is a huge difference doing things like that at 22 and still doing them at 50+.
1 Like