WTH stands for "What the Heck."

What the hell was I doing spending nights in crack houses back then? I was in several of them and I didn’t know a soul. It was 5-10 addicts, drug dealers, hookers, both men and women… and me. It didn’t really phase me, I was around so many addicts and effed up situations almost on a daily basis that I was numb to all the danger and craziness that went on.

I tell you, the absolutely #1 worst thing about addiction and an addicts lifestyle is that it is uncomfortable. Scoring was a different situation every day or night. Scoring ALWAYS had a twist to it. It never, ever went smoothly. When I wanted drugs I wanted to find a dealer, hand him the money, get my drugs and then leave. It should take about one minute at the most.

But it never was that simple. I withdraw $20 from my banks ATM and then drive to the city. And then all bets were of and I’m getting cheated or jerked around or conned and end up spending hours or a whole day in situations I never dreamed of. or I’m giving rides to strangers who for all I knew we’re murderers or rapists or worst of all, Celene Dion fans.

And I find myself driving all over hell and back not having a clue where I was or what was going to happen. But its uncomfortable driving all over and craving drugs. Or sitting in a car for an hour waiting for drugs or sleeping in cars when it’s cold because I’m broke and out of gas from purchasing crack. Or sitting in cramped garages begging for hits. Some of you know the drill. Always worried about being busted. Going hungry every day and getting no sleep… Sitting in my room with no no music or TV because I traded the radio and my TV for a few hits. I have some tales but the best thing I ever did was getting clean. It opened up a whole new world for me. It’s no coincidence that soon after getting clean, I went back to college, got a job, started socializing a lot more, going to concerts and AA events like picnics, and dances and other fun things.

I did stuff that I would have never dreamed of doing while a practicing addict. While freshly clean I was best man at my dads wedding. Flew across the country a few times (and boy were my arms tired.) I went camping, went on jet skis, comedy clubs, plays, concerts etc. The list goes on and on. I am an example of the good which comes from getting clean and sober. I show what’s possible. You see what my life was like using. but I’m here to say that quitting drinking and drugging is not impossible. Recovery from drugs is a reality and a reality I thank god for letting me have. Good night and good luck people.

Always uncomfortable, sick and tired. Anyways, 28 years after the fact I can look back and marvel that I did those things. Because I’m me. Me of all people doing stuff like that, lol!!


the present is a much better time for you. sounds like you were a junkie. how you managed that and sz leads me to believe you’re a lucky guy. no wonder you got all those 7’s round your name.


It amazes me you survived my friend! I can relate. I was into pot. It was always the chasing and it was always the relief from the drug. Pot cured me of some major depression but years later I was using and I was doing terrible. But I was still using every day. My mind was racing. I had no pleasurable experiences because the schiz was kicking in and I still just used.

It’s different things but I hear your story. I remember being in a drug house we later learned had undercover cops in…I bought some acid but they obviously didn’t persue us at the time! Hanging with junkies…waiting to score weed. We never had much of a crack problem. Cocaine out here was a once a year thing for the well to do’s because it was rare. >>

It isn’t that rare anymore!

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I was also working at the time.

I knew some people that lived in crack houses. The stories they shared were truly something.

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