Usually, when I wake up in the morning I am bombarded with more paranoid thoughts and the intensity of the voices I hear in my head are so much worse. This also occurs at night, especially when I’m alone. Does anyone else experience this? Why do you think this is so?
My paranoia seems to be mostly a function of how much sleep I get. I hardly have any symptoms when I get a good nights sleep but if I don’t I usually suffer for the next couple of days. I just get really cranky and miserable when I am tired, and the paranoia fits into my low mood.
I have issues when I am around lots of people. Also early in the morning and late at night when I am tired and less able to focus. Then I have a list of things that trigger different psychosis and other issues.
It seems I am most stable when I am distracted and happy. If i start to let things bother me then I quickly find my issues are similar to a snowball rolling downhill – they tend to build.
However despite my best efforts there are a few “triggers” I have discovered that I have less than ideal control over. These triggers are frequently the things that cause me the most issues.
And occasionally I get symptoms from out of nowhere, without reason.
My issues are so much worse around groups as well. Certain things people say will definitely trigger my paranoia.(The belief that people are monitoring me and know more about me then they should.) I just had a date with someone the other day and this pretty much ruined the experience and the potential for a relationship. She said something that made me think, how does she know that. I began to have a panic attack and I asked her to leave and that pretty much ended that. I talked to a friend about it, and he said it was a mere assumption she was making. That makes sense, but I still have my doubts. It has been a real struggle to date. I wonder if I will ever be able to have a relationship. I want to have a family, but maybe I just shouldn’t.
For what it is worth, I am engaged to marry a wonderful woman that I have been with for almost 3 years now. It is possible but I would be lying if i said it was easy. It requires a great deal of communication, trust and understanding on both sides. (Much like any other relationship without mental illness).
It is absolutely possible.
That’s encouraging and congratulations! I haven’t given up yet. I guess I just figure I have to meet the right person. If you don’t mind me asking, when did you communicate to her about your diagnosis and how did that go?
I was pretty broken when her and I met. I thought I was doing a good job hiding it, but it was her that convinced me to actually go get a doctor. She was there during the talk where I was diagnosed. I sat in the parking lot of the hospital for a hour after that unable to drive home. And it has taken a few years for me to come to terms with it. I have always known I was different, I just didn’t realize this is why.
She has been very supportive. It has not been easy by any means but we work things out, forgive each other, and walk this path together. She is my foundation while I am still learning to walk on my own two legs (metaphorically).
She suffers from manic bi-polar as well though her symptoms are not nearly as bad as her family has described her childhood being. Though still seeing me struggle adds to her stress and sometimes it is hard to be there for her when she really needs me if I too am in the middle of fighting my own war. But we struggle together and I think in many respects that has made us stronger.
Well, it sounds to me like you have someone very special. I wish you and your companion well.
Your symptoms seem to follow along with mine closely. I get voices in the morning and at night when im lyng down and pretty much any other time that i alone. Althoguh they do seem to be getting quiter and are less annoyed by me and im less annoyed by them. I am coming out of a thought broadcasting delusion. I still think I hear people talking about me and ■■■■. I think it is just a product of paranoia. The mind connects things and misinterprets sounds that much is really annoying. Just remember that no one can actually read your mind. They really don’t give a ■■■■ about you and everyone probably just hopes that your happy. Being happy is a struggle on its own.
As far as why it happens I dont know. I used to be a very isolated person and I just think my mind’s idle state when psychotic. My voices definitely get quieter or stop when I’m out and about or around people. Then its just dealing with these telepathic hallucination that crop up whenever i think about them.
Thanks for the input. I feel like when I’m groggy, my mental defenses are down and it allows things to slip through more.
at night, I’m done with my day. I’m relaxed, I have nothing I have to do, I can take a bath, and have some tea and dim the lights.
Then in the morning, I have to face a whole lot of a new day, and I don’t know what to expect. My meds have worn off over the night, and my sis is getting ready for work and there is clatter, and my head circus amps up and my head tells me what a horrid day it’s going to be, and how I’m just going to mess it up and there’s too much to face and too much to do… I have the worst time in the mornings.
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My shrink told me that its worse at night. It is for me and one of my fellow scz friends.
My symptoms reduces or completely gone when the dark goes on. I like winter better since the sunset is around 5:30 , i have a rare symptom that no one seems to have.
nights are the worst for me…i cannot go to bed without the bedroom lights on…i am too afraid of what i will see…example:;;rats,bats (one under my covers) big bugs,etc.,they did med changes,and things have improved and i am down to one light now…but there is still issues…then there is the paranoia that kicks in…it has been just awful…i am better in the day time…i hope things improve for you…i hate this disease…regular people just don’t get it…
Thanks bubbles. I hope they improve for you too. I’m lucky enough to where I don’t see things. I just hear voices and I have paranoia. It still is very difficult to have a truly “normal” life, especially in social situations. As for you saying regular people just don’t get it. This is very true. They always say, why don’t you ignore it, or why can’t you just “turn it off”. It’s frustrating.
My symptoms are always worse at night when I take my medications. I always see and hear things way more that I do during the day. I don’t know if its because I’m tired, or because of the darkness or my medication or what but I always get worse symptoms at night.
My symptoms, paranoia especially, gets worse at night also. First thing in the morning seems to be a time for some clarity for me - before I start taking my meds - but I still have the medicine in my system from the day/night before.
When I was on Abilify, my nights and mornings were both pretty bad for me
My symptoms are worse at night. I usually suffer from anxiety attacks in the evening. I tend to believe the voices (bad) more in the night. When I wake up I think why did i let them take my time and mind.