I’ve had some sick days lately. In fact, I’ve been gone for a week if you count today.
I have anxiety about showing up to work now.
I feel so stupid for having it. So what if they make a remark about me being absent? So what if they tell me not to continue doing that?
I shouldn’t care as much as I do.
And yet, I do.
My psych nurse is saying I might have pushed myself too hard, but, like, if I can’t even handle working 20 hours a week, how am I supposed to handle the full-time school I’m starting this fall?
How am I supposed to handle anything?
It’s a small step at a time. You get your medications right. You get your thinking right and you feel strong enough to take on things.
Seriously. I went psychotic in front of a workforce of 300 people…you get by that you can do what you do.
Yeah it sux that first day but it’s not good hiding away and avoiding it. Not much is pleasant but if it’s doable then get on your bike and give it a go…you can always feign sickness and come home!
Believe me. I’ve done a million I’m gone moments in my life but I’m glad I tried to go in the first place!
See if you can get a medical certificate, your supervisor won’t ask too many questions if you do that and if anyone else asks why you were absent just say you had the flu or gastro or something.
I can understand your fears, and how you might feel paralyzed at this point. But try to question if those fears are helping you. I would suppose they are not. So see if you think about how you should feel to be able to get back to work. Ie look at it as an opportunity, knowing that over time people will forget about your recent absence. If it not helpful to focus on negative possibilities the focus on the positives. You’ll have to make a conscious effort to find the positive but if you can you could feel much better about going back. Catastrophising is always a sign that one is not thinking in a beneficial way. If you can focus your emotions on constructive ideas you’ll be able to take more constructive actions. I feel for you, all the best
Your comfort zone sounds real small right now but the more you step out of it the more confidence you will have. But don’t push yourself too hard, take small steps. I was in the same boat, my boss knows about my mi though and knows that I might need a day off here and there.
“Have the will to bear the discomfort.” “Move the muscles and the mind will follow.” “Fear is a belief in danger. Change your beliefs. Do what you hate and fear to do and you will put a death in the belief of danger.” Dr. Abraham Low. And stop listening to that psych nurse.If you keep malingering, you are going to lose your job.