I was bullied some… my tongue was always sharper. I dont think bullying the bully is a good way to deal with it though… i usually ended up friends with them after … we had no assistance with bullying… it often came to blows. The teachers then had a if i didnt see it…it didnt happen or a kids will be kids view of it…
I think the internet has amplified the amount of bullying kids have to deal with daily… we should start them well before highschool… how to be a decent human with proper coping skills should be a class… nowadays it seems like parents are too busy to actual parent. And kids are picking up horrible habits earlier and earlier…
I was bullied plenty. Once I was voted biggest bully in the classroom. It hurt my feelings but I just smiled. I was generally nice to most people. Of course sometimes I’d say something stupid like this one girl who wanted to be a lawyer, I told her, “Why would you want to be a lawyer? You’ll never be a lawyer.” Pretty mean. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings but I was thinking, “We’re in a small town, those of us who finish university will be far and few compared to the rest. Law school is expensive and there is a lot of litigating.” Or another girl who wrote a poem about smoking marijuana being like a kiss… frankly I thought it was stupid. Poetic maybe, but I suppose I treasured a kiss more. Besides that it sounded like plagiarism.
middle school was the worst years for me. high school I was pretty withdrawn. actually I got bullied in college but I blame the school (catholic and very conservative) as to why it was that way. I haven’t been bullied much the past 2 years ever since I got on decent meds, so it kind of caught me off guard that guy at work going in on me.
Yup… i followed the same path… to over come the bullies i had to be meaner than them… i made more than my share of people cry when i was younger… but hell it was either that or be the victim daily… that gets old fast… ive calmed down tremendously since high school. I havent been in a real fight in years. I still pick at people but its become playful banter instead of brutal tongue lashings…
I think if I saw those ladies today I’d probably apologize for hurting their feelings. It was mostly because I was a white Mexican and my first language was Spanish, bottom line. Now i’m a little more tan hah. Or I can stay inside and grow pale. I don’t really trip out. I might even become a redneck again if I walk around long enough outside. People would call me guero which I didn’t quite like but didn’t get too mad at, before call me a gringo and i’d get peeved. But see, I know what it was like to be looked down upon for speaking Spanish, and I didn’t know that as I was a child. I’d get more pissed when they’d call my peers spics, wetbacks, and the like… I couldn’t stand people who said the word ■■■■■■.
@firemonkey you say you have a lifetime of problems practically from bullying. I have had a lifetime of problems from bullying/abuse I think from when I was younger, and I think I have PTSD as a result of it. Do you think you have any PTSD symptoms? Because if you do it can help you if you get treatment for PTSD
Then again people with schizophrenia should just man up and pull themselves together. No need for treatment . As this is in line with your type of thinking you must agree with me.
Another none too subtle excusing of bullying. It’s because of anti social attitudes like yours that bullying prevails. No ifs,no buts, bullying is wrong.
I really don’t think it’s effective. Bullying is in kids’ nature. No amount of campaigning in the world is going to change that. It’s as useless as telling rapists to not rape or thieves not to steal, etc. As easy as it is to tell people not to do bad things, if that actually worked we would live in a perfect world.
What needs to be done is teachers and parents need to be aware of signs of bullying and implement effective strategies to deal with it when it happens. One strategy that has proven effective for example is teaching children who are bullied better social skills, as many kids are bullied because they lack social skills and this makes them a target. Bullies also need to receive punishment for their actions as well, not just from the school but also to be held accountable by their parents.
Actually this has been quite effective on college campuses who seek to educate men instead of telling women to protect themselves. Many men are confused about what constitutes meaningful consent, and don’t realize the impact their actions will have. Of course, there are also those who just seek to harm others, and all the education in the world won’t stop them, but some people can learn to do better.
Hmm yeah I think it’s good people understand what consent means. I’m referring more to like criminals though who do it knowing that what they do is wrong.
The problem is getting school staff to have the intelligence to realise that some children have poor social skills that put them at increased risk. For many schools that requires a big change in attitude and a noticeable increase in insight.
Unless diagnosed with autism at an early age many children of my generation were ignored when it came to the recognition of social skills deficits.
Certainly no help and support was given to me.
The opinion of my housemaster was that some children leant themselves to being bullied as though to dismiss the issue .
It’s scandalous that over 40 years since I was at school many schools still have a lax attitude when it comes to bullying. Teachers who fail to take a responsible stance on bullying should be kicked out of the job , and banned from teaching .
Yeah that’s why I said one of the most important things is getting teachers to become aware of this and know what to look for, especially when direct bullying may not take place right in front of them it can take more subtle observation.
My old hs had a “bully box” where you could put in the name of someone bothering you and they would get a visit to the principal but it was criticized bc the person who turned in the request also had to come in to talk things out. Which I imagine just increased confrontation later.
I think social skill courses should be included in regular curriculum honestly. Everyone could benefit from learning more about how to positively interact with others.
Ask any group of adults, don’t matter the age, if they were ever bothered by bullying as a kid.
Chances are there will be a large percentage of those adults, who have never forgotten being bullied, and it still affects them even today.
There can’t ever be enough awareness on how to stop bullies in action, but I I doubt much of the cash put in a jar at the grocery store would do much to help the effort.
You have to donate smart, and usually straight to the organization, because every time there’s another hand to collect funds, it gets diluted.
We’re already asking a lot of our teachers, this is simply too big an issue to just tack on their already stressed agendas.
I think having specialized counselors and mediators would do the most good.
Teachers can report what they observe to them, or students could contact them directly.
They probably have people like this already, we just need more.
I remember a girl in school who was bullied and had a super rough home life, she was constantly in her guidance counselors office venting her frustrations. Eventually the woman had to tell the student she was taking up too much of her time and stopped taking appointments with her. It was tragic.
Students like that need extra help and right now they probably don’t have enough counselors to meet those needs.
Of course all the burden shouldn’t be on teachers. Parents need to be educated about bringing up their children to be civilised and decent human beings .However there’s a wealth of difference between putting all the onus on teachers and the no brainer of getting rid of teachers who turn a blind eye to/ trivialise the effects of bullying and do nothing to play their part in combating the problem .
