Didn't get the internship

I got the interview but didn’t get the internship. :disappointed: I just found out. I have another interview lined up now for a volunteer position but I’m worried that my interview will ruin it like it did the last one. I’m falling behind in my homework too. I have two weeks to catch up. I was so busy volunteering for something else, busy season for work, and a club I joined that I’ve let my classes slip. I’m frustrated because I don’t have the work ethic I used to. I’m only taking 12 units and I’m still falling behind. My friend is taking 16 units and has a paid internship already on top of that. I don’t know if I can even blame the schizophrenia anymore. I should be pushing myself harder but I just feel so exhausted and drained. I only went to one class today and a club meeting today, but I feel exhausted from that too. I spent most of the day looking for internships and driving to and from school. I now have to drive 2-3 hours per school day just to get to campus and back and I have four days a week of school this quarter. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but the stress is getting to me. I haven’t seen my psychologist in a while because I’ve been busy. I have to wait one more week before I can see him.

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Having a serious mental condition makes everything drastically harder. You can’t compare yourself to others to in regards to your achievements. You seem to be doing well even if it’s not as much as you would prefer. Just keep putting effort and you will still reap rewards for your goals. Remember there are others who can’t even manage school at all so you definitely do have things to be grateful for :slight_smile:

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Thanks I know I have a lot to be grateful for. I have trouble comparing myself to others. It’s hard not to.

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Yeah I often have the same problem. I often have to remind myself to only compare my achievements to my own past. Keeps me focusing on what I can accomplish rather than what I haven’t

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Your doing awesome.
Mental illness is like have a 2nd full-time job.
So be proud of what your doing :blush:

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It’s just so hard. I used to be so driven and work so hard and be doing really well with regard to my peers. Now I’m going to college with people that would have been in kindergarten when I was in middle school.

It takes about as much time as a 2nd full time job, with all the mental breakdowns and lack of drive.

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Yep it’s very tough. So to continue despite it, feel proud about that and let that drive you forward.

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Yeah I can relate to that. I was going to go back to school next semester and everyone will be drastically younger than me. I’m just going to try and focus on achieving as well I can there rather than on similar age peers that have already finished school. It’s worth remembering most people don’t have these limiting mental conditions

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it’s true schizophrenia is incredibly disabling. I often wish I had been dying of cancer instead because then I could talk about why I was struggling in school and have sympathy from people instead of having to hide it from people. I withdrew several times and spent 6 months off around the time I was diagnosed when i had completely snapped. luckily I went to a hard university and picked one of the harder majors so when I tell people I dropped out I can tell them because I wasn’t smart enough and they all buy it. I don’t have to say it’s because i got schizophrenia. It still sucks though. I feel like if i had been diagnosed earlier or didn’t have this illness I could have become a physician’s assistant with a masters degree and all. At this point I’m hoping that I can still get a masters degree but in taxation instead and online because at this point if and when I get a job I want to keep it and not have to quit to go back to school.

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It really does suck how much stigma there is regarding mental conditions. I typically hide it too. At least most mental conditions aren’t terminal I suppose, even if those terminal conditions gather more sympathy from average people. A masters degree could be pretty nifty to have. Just keep putting effort and you’ll achieve your goals. I believe in you! :smiley:

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When I go back I was going to major in computer science which i have been told is pretty hard, I hope I can handle it.

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I’m planning to go back for computer science as well. I’m going into it at 31. Never too late if you like to learn. At this point I mainly struggle with bipolar symptoms. And hypersomnia, lack drive, avolition (bipolar symptoms). Positive symptoms are super mellow these days. I initially came to this forum for psychosis symptoms as that was my primary problem at the time but it’s certainly mellowed over the past 4 years.
Gone are the days of me working when I was in the midst of psychosis.

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I definitely do love learning too. Thanks for that, helped me out. I am just coming out of a depression after a 4 month manic episode. I was also having alot of struggle being self motivated so I can definitely relate. I have just recently started being more productive, and going to school would definitely help me with that

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I was choosing between computer science and accounting but I picked accounting because I thought it would be easier than computer science. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision or not career wise, but so far I’m doing pretty well at it. I just need to buckle down and study harder for the next two weeks and I should be ok

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Yeah I think it is the easier of the two. And good luck @sea00115699 , you can do it! The career prospects of accounting are pretty good, don’t worry about it

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While we might be of similar age, I have dealt with quitting school and work many times since my diagnosis. I am now back to work at the bank. My advice to you is to study a full course load as a normal person would and find an internship for the summer. Don’t try to work and study at the same time. Slow and steady wins the race. Success is like money, it builds slowly and steadily and compounds over time.

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