I’m trying to move on with no more kitty in my life. It’s so hard every time I turn around I think she’ll be there, and meow to be put up on the bed, or want her dinner. Last night laying in bed I thought I heard her soft meow, but I know it was in my head.
My voices are telling me its pathetic to miss a cat so much. But then I think she was in my life for 12 years. How can I not be upset with loosing her? Then they like to remind me it my decision to give up our dog a few years ago because I lost control of him during a walk and he attacked another dog. He was an old boy, about 15, a big 100 pound black lab that was blind in one eye and stood about to my knees. I was afraid of him, I still am afraid of big dogs. He even snapped at me one time, I was picking up something I spilled on the floor, and must of have startled him because almost big my face.
But now because my mind is on my baby girl, my cat that I raised since she was 3 months I should still feel guilty about my decisions about Hank. Padme, my kitty she had a seizure and lost vision from both eyes. she wasn’t eating. she didn’t want to be picked up and put on the bed like she liked. That morning of her appointment I was going downstairs and she meowed such a painful meow we thought she was dying already so I came back up and sat with her and she looked so afraid to close her eyes an relax. She was in pain. I again had to make that decision.
And my voices are telling me I’m bad because I chose to sit with Padme while they euthanized her. Hank I had to hand to animal control because I was home alone. I couldn’t control him, he was violent. He was old. He was blind. I guess I could control Padme, I wasn’t afraid of her like I was Hank. With both my parents working at the time we lost Hank I was supposed to be in control of him during the day and I simply couldn’t.
Now I think I’m seeing gnats flying around and bugs crawling on me…this is a common occurrence when I’m stressed. Like I’m still stressing about my surgery on Thursday. My grandma’s in the hospital and not doing well (at 93). Last time I was in the hospital my grandpa on my mom’s side passed away while I still still in the hospital. I’m worried this will happen again. Will I be able to make it up Iowa? How long will my recovery from this partial thyroid removal be? SOOOO MUCH IN MY HEAD MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!!!
I have a very difficult time responding to these kinds of posts because of my own experiences. But to this, I just want to say, bullsh:t. You have lost someone incredibly important to you, and it hurts. Let it hurt.
And you do what you can. The idea that you should never be there at the end for a pet because you were unable to be there for another pet is ludicrous. Don’t even listen to it.
Your mind is going to spend a lot of time trying to reconcile how badly you feel right now, and it’s going to make up a lot of stupid stories in order to make how bad you feel make sense. But the truth is, you loved Padmé and you had to let her go and that is painful enough - your brain doesn’t need to make up any other reasons for why you feel so badly. Let yourself grieve.
I hope your surgery goes well, and my best wishes to your grandmother, too. Please be gentle with yourself.
To hold your loved pet ‘until the end’ is the right thing to do.
Kitty loses are very hard,
You wonn’t forget them, but make the memories of them be the ones that make you smile-because that’s what love does-it lives on in a positive way.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s ok to grieve. You loved her she was your companion.
When I lost my dogs I went through similar things. Just hearing them only to know it’s not real. Thinking they’d be there only to remember they won’t be.
It’s hard and it hurts like hell. So please try not to feel bad about mourning your loss. It takes time to heal.
I found it helped me to set up a small memorial for my pups. Just so I can still feel connected to them. I miss them very much.
And I think it’s good that you were with her when she passed. At least she wasn’t alone. I think that might have comforted her. May she rest in peace.
It’s hard right now for you but you’re being so strong. Wishing you well in your surgery. And sending my love to you and your grandma. If you need to talk im here for you and so is the rest of the forum. (Hugs)
I have a dog I’m ambivalent about. I’d be alone w/o him, I think, so it’s silly of me to say he interferes with my having more of a social life. But yeah, I’d miss him if I didn’t have him… and my overall life would show how much I really do love Aesop, my cattle dog. I empathize with your loss. I had a pug before the current dog who was a real gem. He loved everybody and vice versa. I miss Henry a great deal. Hopefully you can get another pet.
My voices are telling me its pathetic to miss a cat so much. But then I think she was in my life for 12 years. How can I not be upset with loosing her? Then they like to remind me it my decision to give up our dog a few years ago because I lost control of him during a walk and he attacked another dog. He was an old boy, about 15, a big 100 pound black lab that was blind in one eye and stood about to my knees. I was afraid of him, I still am afraid of big dogs. He even snapped at me one time, I was picking up something I spilled on the floor, and must of have startled him because almost big my face.
️. Maybe will help