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Scared I might be slipping into a psychotic break after losing my pet

On Tuesday we had to put my pet leopard gecko down. I noticed immediately in the hours after we put him down I was hearing really loud and clear voices unlike how my voices have been for a while now. I heard one say “why did you kill him” and it made me start crying. These voices have continued and I barely got any sleep for the first two days after we put him down so I was hoping maybe that was what was causing the loud voices, but I slept fine last night and today I heard a voice say “why don’t you kill yourself” clearly and loudly. My voices can be mean, but I haven’t heard a voice tell me to kill myself in years.

I normally wouldn’t be overly alarmed that I was slipping into a psychotic break over hearing voices that could be caused by stress but I’ve also noticed more paranoid thinking. Today my mom told me she was forgetting things and it popped into my head that it was because of us living in a simulation. I don’t normally ever have thinking related to conspiracy theories like that and it really scared me. Thankfully none of the paranoid thinking has developed into delusions, but I’m scared it will. I’ve never actually had a psychotic break before and I’m scared I’m slowly slipping into one because of the stress of losing my pet. I also keep thinking about my pet’s ghost and him trying to get back at me for killing him. I wouldn’t normally think like that either but I feel like it’s my fault he died because I didn’t take good enough care of him.

Does this sound like the beginning of a psychotic break? Like I said I’ve never had one and I’m really scared I’m going to keep getting closer and closer to having a breakdown.

I’m not going to diagnose you, but wanted to say I’m really sorry about losing your pet. All of my troubles started after I put my beloved dog down, so I totally relate to the stress and sadness. Take care of yourself

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Very sorry you lost your buddy, that’s always traumatic. Don’t be afraid to get some help if you need it because the need is genuine. Sending hugs.

:heart:

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Sorry you had to put your pet down. If I had to put my dog down it would probably trigger my psychosis too.

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It’s very normal to feel emotional after losing a pet. I was filled with guilt too when my first cat got put down, but she was dying and suffering, so there was really no other option.

You should grieve, but don’t make yourself the scapegoat. There is only so much we can do. I hope your voices leave you alone.

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I don’t know the answer to your question but I know you are under stress and for me that causes symptoms of psychosis. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this trauma I hope you heal soon, please know you did everything you could do to take care of your pet and it was your pets time to leave this world and he is no longer suffering. A few years ago I had a bearded dragon Princess, she got cancer on her toes, I ended up putting her down when the cancer got her to twitching. I too thought I didn’t take good enough care of her and that she wasn’t healthy enough because of me. I think it’s hard with lizards because you don’t get much feed back from them and it’s hard to tell if they are doing well.

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Sorry to hear you had to put your gecko down. It is always hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet. I would say the stress is definitely having an impact on your mental health. You need to take care of yourself, don’t be so hard on yourself for putting your gecko down. It was a necessary evil, so be kind to yourself. Reach out to others for some support. Take care.

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I’m so sorry for your loss.
I had a lot of bad episodes like that after I lost my cat two years ago. It helped me a little to put some of her ashes in a necklace that I wear every day, made me feel like I was still close to her. And I wrote her letters. I apologized to her (I blamed myself for her death), and tried to just write down all of my favorite memories of her etc.
I would suggest talking to your doc, and I really hope things get better for you! Good luck

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I’m sorry for the distress this loss is causing you. I had a cat that died in 2014 and I cried for a week before I start feeling better. It may be difficult to externalize the stress and sadness, and sometimes it turns into distressing thoughts (or voices). Maybe trying to keep us busy (reading, videos, games) may help to not get too submerged by a stressful event.

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Thank you all for being so kind. I’m in a better state of mind today than I was yesterday and so far today no unusual thoughts or voices I’ve noticed. I’m hoping it was just a phase caused by my grief and I’ll be feeling better soon. I will still share this with my psychiatrist and if I find those thoughts or voices do persist I’ll be having an emergency appointment with him. Thank you all for your support, it means the world.

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I’m so sorry. That must be so hard on you. Contact your pdoc and let them know what’s going on. They’ll be able to diagnose you