An old school friend found me on fb. What now?

Last week a good old school pal made contact with me via fb’s messenger.

We haven’t seen each other in more than 30 years.

He lives in Ireland now but he comes home to South Africa at times for business.

He doesn’t know about my diagnosis.

He asked for my number and want to phone me. I’m not lucid enough for a telephone conversation. It will be a catastrophe.

The other thing is, I don’t remember much from our friendship in schooldays.

He already brought up stuff that I can’t remember at all.

What should I do? I told him that I was layed off from work due to ill health and that I’m now on early pension… Which in a way is correct.

I really don’t want to disclose any of my MI. This guy want to phone me on a regular basis and come and visit like we are old pals.

Please give me some input. Any advice will help.

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If you want to get rid of him tell him you have schizophrenia !


@everhopeful’s advice would be mine too.


I know that but it is not what I want to do. If I tell him I might as well delete my fb account, cause then everybody will know

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Keep him at a distance. Don’t talk about really personal things. Ask him questions about his family and job. It’ll put the focus on him instead of you. Since you admitted you’re ill, you can say you don’t like to talk about it and avoid that conversation.


Be nice and step slowly away

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I have an old school friend who keeps contacting me too.

I have been putting off seeing him a lot, as I don’t want anything to do with my past.

You have got to decide if you have moved on or not.

30 years is a long time not to see someone.

I am a bit paranoid when it comes to people, so I would also be concerned what motive is behind the reaching out

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Maybe you could say you have developed some cognitive issues that can effect your memory and that unfortunately you really don’t remember much from your school days?

Or just say nothing and ignore his request for your phone number?


My point exactly.

I don’t mean to be a pessimist, but I have had some pretty bad luck with friends in the past, which makes me very suspicious.

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This person probably remembers you fondly and simply wants to connect to the past. You can just listen on facebook and remember what this person has to say. I have an old friend who contacts me all the time via facebook. I like her posts and whenever she tries to take it further I ignore her requests. Pretty soon she’ll get the idea that I only want to take it so far. Remember you have the right to say what you want to share. And there’s always time to think before you respond on facebook and just as long as you don’t get on the phone with him you’ll be fine.


I haven’t shared my phone number and I’m thinking of ways to to tell him that I don’t want to engage in a telephone conversation.

Maybe I should just blatantly ignore his request for my number.

He told me that he has looked up some other school friends and that they went for a picnic and a drive to the small holdings where we grew up.

The thing is I’ll mess up a telephone conversation and I really don’t want to meet with him one on one. We were good friends and I don’t want to chase him away neither do I want to see him up close and personal.

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I would just ignore the request but stay friendly on facebook. That’s what I did and it’s working fine. We see pictures of each other’s grandchildren and know generally what’s going on in each other’s lives but I don’t have to talk to her on the phone. It seems to be working. She’s only messaged me for my phone number 3 times over the years that we’ve been back in contact. I think she finally gave up now and is happy to just be facebook friends. Actually I’m friends with several of my best friends from High School and if they get too personal I just ignore them. It’s easy. People can only cross a line if you let them.

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Thanks for the sound advice @leafy. I’ll ignore his request for my number and see how it goes.


Make a new friend, don’t let your diagnosis stop you.

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I did disclose my diagnosis previously to an old lady friend. That was the last time I have seen or heard about her.

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That’s pretty sad, but in my experience that is not common with people. I had lots of friends in my early 20’s despite hearing voices nonstop.

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This happened to me too. This person was my best friend at the time and he just dropped me completely.

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@Joker It hurts and it’s confusing. I’m sorry you had to loose your best friend.

It’s ok. It was a few years ago now. It makes it difficult for me to trust which is a problem

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