An Addendum: More Ramblings

Original post was locked, and rightly so for potentially being triggerish.


Not really sure what I was getting at with that particular post.

Perhaps it was rehashing old memories of a time before meds, and illustrating the state I was in during those days.

I did some “interesting” things and thought some “interesting” thoughts.

Some days, like today, I reflect on the meaning of my psychosis.

Like, what was it for?

…Surely it wasn’t all in vain.

Perhaps there’s something greater to it than simply a misfiring of random neurons:

  • Like, how can I incorporate what I’ve experienced into how I live my life?

  • Can I be helping others with the same affliction find healing?

  • How can I make a difference?

…Sometimes the search for a greater meaning leads me down winding paths.


…I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, or what my point is.

These are the ramblings of a schizophrenic, after all :upside_down_face:.

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For me the idea that it was all in vain helped to reassure me in times of existential crisis that the world is not necessarily ordered, or designed, or moral, etc. Our ultimate fate is independent of our thoughts and actions given that out thoughts and actions are not necessarily our own.

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I think I’m just trying to make some lemonade out of these lemons.

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I get what you mean somewhat. A lot of wisdom and truth is put out in a roundabout way. Maybe is you try a roundabout way or make a reference to one, it would work. I don’t know.

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To me its just that the antipsychotics stopped me from continuing. If I stop them sometimes, the old thoughts and wants and work comes back. But on them its all gone.

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