I have been living with my mother for a little over a year, but I know she doesn’t like me. She allows me and my children to stay with her, she cooks us meals but at the same time she talks badly about me. She calls me an idiot, ugly and other things, she screams at me and calls me dumb. She says evil things under her breath about me. She says that I don’t have ■■■■ on her, meaning I don’t look as good as her. She says under her breath that she wants bad things to happen to me and my children, but she never says it to me, she says it under her breath. My family put a camera on me and I don’t know what were their intent on doing this but my family talks about my kids call them names but then they smile in their face. My mom spends all of my food stamps. I pay the cable bill which is close to $200 and she still comes to me asking to borrow money for her cigarettes and liquor, that she never pays back and then she also comes to me to pay for the household supplies. I only get $600 in SSDI and I also try to budget my money for me and my children but I’m spending money on the house which is low income so she doesn’t have to pay rent. She only has to pay for light and gas. She went through 2 full time jobs in which she was fired from. My mom barely raised me and she was a drug addict and so she was never raising me, which caused mental issues. We never had a relationship. She lived off of my grandparents and they basically provided for me and my siblings and also my father provided clothes and shoes for me but I only saw him once a month or every other month and when I turned 18 my mom and family finally told me he wasn’t my father and that someone else was my father. I don’t have a relationship with my fathers because one stopped being involved after he found out I wasn’t his and he told people I wasn’t his child. And the other just didn’t care to be involved. I’m 30 years old now. And I shouldn’t be so consumed with those problems, but they haunt me. Fast forward to now, my mom is verbally abusive and she says all of these mean things to me and I just want my children to have a relationship with my family but they treat them and me wrong. They say all of these mean things to me. But you can’t go against family because in this crazy world they are all you got. Now I’m trying to decide on getting a job and going out to support my family, but I am mentally tired. I had a job to take care of me and my daughter but then my family put a camera on me and the whole world started bothering me so I didn’t have the mental space to take care of us. Now I’m trying to decide if I should take a job and support me and my two children and leave my mother’s house? I don’t have anymore support, just my family. Even though they don’t like us. I really need a therapist. But I really need a life coach because I wasn’t taught these things. I’m trying to see what I should do.
Am I crazy for allowing people to verbally abuse me? Am I crazy for being around people who don’t like me?
I don’t know your mom, so I don’t know how verbally abusive she is or not, but when you say she says these things “under her breath” and doesn’t say it to you or your children, it makes me wonder if some of it is not imagined. I used to think people said things when I could barely hear them speak. I realize now that most of it was imagined. My mind made me think people were saying things in line with my delusions and such.
Again, I don’t want to belittle whatever verbal abuse is going on. I just know that sometimes us schizophrenics imagine things. If you can’t hear them clearly, I would question if what you think you’re hearing is really what they are saying.
Clearly, your family did not “put a camera on” you and people are not talking about you being in media and such, so it makes me wonder what else in your perception is imagined as well.
Either way, I am sorry that you have to put up with the verbal abuse that IS going on. The parts where you saying she is directly screaming at you and insulting you seems likely to be legit, so I am sorry for your situation.
Maybe you can look into whatever government assistance is available to get you out on your own. I’m not an expert in this field, but I would think there would various programs for a single mother with children.
Ok so I’m not crazy for just letting it fly by? My whole purpose of this post was to see if I’m crazy for ignoring the verbal abuse. My mom actually does say these things. She talks to herself as well so she does say these things. But since she is my mom should I just ignore it? I just wanted to see if I’m crazy for not standing up on my own and just sitting around being verbally abused and allowing people to say mean things and just ignoring it. My son comes to me crying saying nobody loves me in this house. My daughter is quiet. I’m just trying to see what I need to be doing because this isn’t normal. Am I crazy?
I know I don’t have to be confrontational but I’m thinking maybe I need to get out and protect my childrens honor and get my own place. I don’t have to be confrontational with my mom just move on with my life instead of being in a house where there isn’t any love. I won’t cut my mom out of my life but I just think it’s time I get my own place for me and my children.
I think if you are in a situation where you need your family for support and see no other way out, no I don’t think you’re crazy for putting up with it. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are not ideal.
I would be looking for alternative living arrangements if they are at all possible though.
It really all depends on your own tolerance. Would it be easier for you to have to deal with the all the problems that living on your own would entail, or is it easier for you to put up with an occasional insult? I don’t know your situation in depth. But no, I don’t think your crazy for putting up with it. You are in a difficult situation.
If your children are suffering for it, I would try to find a way out.
Yes, it’s time I get my own place. I really got a feeling my mom really doesn’t want us here anyway. Which is fine, but maybe I need to just move on.
Thankyou so much for the talk.
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