For a moment I thought it possible that I could be an Angel. Then I realized, that I’m probably not.
And just like that: My whole world turned Grey again
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The higher you fly as a grandiose angel,
the harder you’ll fall when the delusion will stop.
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I agree it is a really appealing thought to be an Angel, but the idea only lasted for a couple of hours. Then I thought that it wasn’t realistic, and then my world turned Grey again, just like that.
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Only for couple of hours?
Mine last for weeks or months.
Glad it stopped for you.
Are you disappointed now?
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I’m sorry that this is going on for so long for you. I have started tappering down my meds, which Mean that I seem to experience some delusional thoughts. I have just received a letter from a friend and then I took a few words out of the context and apparently went a little delusional.
Because the idea was "What if I was an Angel " I’m a little dissapointed that I’m just a regular person. But that is only Because I find Angels so beautiful.
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I’ve dealt with angel delusions since I was a teen. Struggle with the thoughts, going on 21 years.
We aren’t angels, it’s the illness lying to us. Betraying thoughts. As enticing as it is, It can’t be real.
Least that’s what I try to tell myself, and try to believe.
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It all depends on your viewpoint of world
and gods and angels.
Maybe we all are angels.
Maybe we all are one with god.
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I think you’re doing the right thing. And I will try and do the same. I just felt very special and beautiful for about an hour. I was believing that my life now had a purpose. But I believe you’re right. I know I’m psychosis sensitive, so I guess it is my illness playing tricks on me.
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I like that point of view
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Oh Blimey - I relate. That my Dear is my main delusion. Its comforting isnt it - when you think you “got powers” and are from a higher plain.
At the end of the day - its just the illness talking. I remember being quite depressed for a few weeks, when the meds kicked in, and got my rationale back - and realised that actually i am nothing special.
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Yes it is quite comfortable to believe you are from a higher plan and that you have a purpose here on earth.
Last time my illness expressed it self I saw butterflies in my bedroom, and it kind of made me think that as long it expresses it self with either beautiful visions or thoughts. Then why should I want it to stop? It is not like I am afraid.
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Just believe what you gotta believe to make your mindset more comfortable - just dont go down the rabbit hole with it and maintain a grip on reality.
I cant really say more - cos its quite triggering for me.
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Meher Baba (the voice of Meher) used to tell me
that I’m schizobuddha.
I have my own pure land in the vast
galaxies. Products of my beautiful mind.
I have grandiose ideas very often.
Maybe it’s a defence mechanism
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I do believe it is possible that it can be a defense mechanism yes. The reality can be both boring and painfull to handle.
It sounds like you have a beautiful mind.
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IDK, do you have a halo and wings?
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It depends what you mean by Angel? You are not an Angel in the sky, but perhaps you could be an Angel in disguise, to someone who needs you
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Since I have neither halo nor wings, I guess you are right about not being an Angel in the sky. But I like the picture of being and Angel in disguise.
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Beautiful image, @anon8091425 . The image of the Angel is so breathtakingly beautiful
I forgot to say, I love your poem. Turned to grey is a theme with me too, I’m sure you know LOL
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