My meds gave me my life back… and pull me out of some deep negative symptoms.
They have kept me out of hospital… and have taken the edge off during some very high anxiety times.
First the Seroquel… then Seroquel and Latuda… that was fine. Add Xanax (Prn)
then Seroquel… Latuda and Metformin… for the blood sugar.
Now… Seroquel… Latuda… Metformin… and Depakote.
I Know I have to take the Seroquel to slow down my mind… and keep the word salad at bay… and the racing thoughts and it slows down the wheel in my head.
I Know the Latuda keeps the motivation up and helps me keep the negative slump at bay.
I Know the Metformin helps keep the blood sugar in check and counters the side effect of the Seroquel… (and some how… has been helping me keep the weight down)
I know the Depakote will help even out the mood… keep the manic spikes away… so I can sleep normally again… and will keep the depressive crashes away. That will feel better.
But some days… I have to admit… there are sometimes where I wish I could just throw them all away and not take anything… I won’t. I’ll take the meds… I like not being in hospital…
Yes, I think that’s a very normal reaction.
You understand their effects all so well, but then all of a sudden, you wish you could throw them all away.
No one likes to take meds long-term and it’s difficult.
But you know how much your meds has been helping you, and that you won’t stop taking them.
I think it’s perfectly OK to admit that sometimes you don’t want to take them.
It’s not the same as you actually stop.
That hasn’t happened to me so far, my dose has been getting lower and lower, but I’ve heard that in US or England, I’m not sure exactly where, that doctors tend to prescribe meds lowest dose at first… and then add more if the patient still has some symptoms until they go away… Here in Japan things are the opposite, doctors tend to prescribe meds huge dose at first, and then make them lower as symptoms go away…
I don’t know if this is the case, but it could be…
So I think adding meds will stop one day.
I think because when I broke at 17… I really broke… and I was on some pretty high doses of a lot of meds… plus when I was young and angry and defiant… I fought my meds tooth and nail… plus I drank heavily… smoked pot… and took other drugs.
So the few times police and docs were able to wrangle me in… they when for max dose.
But now… those days are over… I’ve been med compliant… got the drugs and alcohol out of my life… that helped me stabilize a lot. Been going to therapy…
I’m on pretty low doses of stuff… I am thankful for that.
Believe me J - I do know how you feel.
I have been taking meds - especially psych meds, since I was a kid.
I am truly tired of taking and relying on these meds, I pop pills all day long, my cell phone reminder alarms go off all of the time.
Thank goodness I found a pdoc who believes in starting off low and slow - she does not believe in over medicating her patients.
I am not anti medication, just tired of all of the symptoms that come a long with taking multiple meds.
I take them in order to function, I remind myself of this, everyday
Your experience is pretty much my experience, though my breaks only began at 20 and kept breaking for decades, even after I put the bottle(s) (and baggies) away.
Medication has been helpful, and I have been on many. But I see very clearly now that the meds were merely a means to an end. And that end was “sufficient emotional and cognitive stability” to be able to use psychodynamic, cognitive, behavioral and now mindfulness / insight psychotherapies to deal with the causes rather than just the symptoms.
hug.