Fiancée went to take a shower, I’m alone with alcohol. If I threw my regard to the wind I could be drunk before she knew.
I’ve acknowledged the thought as pure addiction tendencies. Fighting the craving. I don’t like even being around alcohol or people drinking anymore.
I used to be bad. Shitfaced at parties. Would wake up in the middle of the night with shakes, take a couple shots and go back to bed. It was every day, passing out every night. I was a danger to myself and others.
It’s been about two and a half years since I’ve drank. I can honestly say my life is better way from it, but that doesn’t stop the urge. My mind will romanticize it, try to twist rationing, wave it off.
Typing has helped. My heart goes out to anyone struggling.
At my grandfathers cabin at the lake. He has a few bottles in the fridge. Him and his girlfriend rarely drink and control themself when they do.
Down the hill at home we don’t keep any alcohol. It’s easier on me knowing it’s not in the house. Fiancée doesn’t like to drink at all, and my mother will rarely have a glass of wine with dinner.
I prefer to stay away. So I’m here clutching my phone, on the forum, until I’m no longer alone.
Trying to turn a craving with one of my life lines.
Can you ask your fiancée to hide the alcohol so that the temptation is removed? Your fiancée can then put the alcohol back when you’re ready to leave the cabin.
