I feel like I have no emotions to spare.
Sometimes I feel like sadness is rushing in me and I feel terrible, but a lot of painful, terrible emotions (including my dog dying) just feel so cold- I just feel so emotionless. I sometimes feel like I’m turning into a sociopath from a emotion-filled, caring person. It kind of scares me.
But after being hurt constantly for years I just feel like nothing makes me happy anymore. I just feel flat all the time and I can’t feel anything.
After all I’ve got nothing to lose. I lost everything except my family and my dog.
I don’t even care about being hurt anymore. Everything is pain. My life is pain. Life is terrible.