I bet my harm OCD plays a role.
I non stop fear doing something bad. And when I see articles connected to horrible things, illegal, or other stuff - it’s very triggering for me.
Who else have a fear of jails or doing something bad?
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I have harm OCD and I take Fluvoxamine (luvox) and it helps alot. Do you take any meds for OCD?
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No… I believe I need to talk with my doc about starting a med for OCD
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Yes I worry too that I’m gonna make a mistake and get into trouble with the law I think I’ll be ok just gotta be on my best behaviour
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My Undiagnosed Sz - had me locked up in prison a few times for a few months.
I wasnt even looking for trouble at the time. It was people financially abusing me, and provoking me.
Since being medicated past 8 years, funnily enough i have a good relationship with the law these days 
And stayed out of trouble.
Its why ive got half an ear - and no teeth 
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Not for over thirty years since I sobered up.
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Fun fact i went fishing last summer and a cop came and showed us a even better fishing spot not all cops are bad people clearly he was a good cop dude didn’t even check for licenses we only had 2 pike tho
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Ive had that during episodes. Its pretty disturbing to deal with. I bought an ocd workbook that deals with harm ocd and that helped.
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Heres a specific workbook for it. Its like 12 bucks on amazon
I used a general book that had harm ocd treatment in it but if I had known about this one i prob would of used this one. I have checking ocd tho as well.
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Out of Jail and On The Streets – Lambent Productions
Heres me in a BBC Documentary - very short clip, in it, off my head “born of angels” lol. Blue t shirt halfway thru. 2002-2003.
Years before dx’d SZ.
EDIT. Seems its not on IMDB. And im pleased about that lol.
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Your story is very interesting.
I will watch a documentary soon and will give a feedback.
And your personality is cool @Naarai
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I am diagnosed with OCD and according to my doctor it’s a pretty severe case
I can’t take antidepressants because of mania
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I personally wont watch it. Find it really Triggering lol. Think its on imdb still.
Incendetally - The probation officer was called Vicky. Which is what i named my voice that crops up now and again. 
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I have always been terrified of getting into trouble, so all authority figures make me nervous. I don’t think violent thoughts, though, and I’m very glad for that.
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You said a phrase ‘I came from a stars’ in that video.
Goosh… it reminds me on my darkest times. I’ve also was thinking such things: even worse. I fully believed I am a God. 
strange though how diagnosis and medication help for us.
Glad your life is better now, @Naarai
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6mg risperidone stopped my violent thoughts.
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Yeah i was very ill then - with no insight. Seriously not that person now lol
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at one point of early paranoia I thought the fbi wanted me for questioning about a head in the trash can I reported. and then asked me why I just had a tub of spaghetti in the trash can? because of an album triggered me to have that vision.
the only thing I really get scared is driving on residential streets looking for little kids…go to prison for killing a child, and rightly so…so be careful driving…otherwise…relax…don’t do it… when you want to freak out.
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Now I have some ideas about meds I could start.
New topic to talk about with my pdoc
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