That’s the reason why I fear driving, @jukebox
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I have a bit of trouble with differentiating harm ocd with intrusive visual projections which is probably more psychosis related.
Id unconciously visualize violent stuff towards others even though i didnt want to see or feel it. Id basically experience internal visuals of peoples death by me. That went on for like 3 or 4 months then the episode slowly ended. It was a mixed mood episode.
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I can’t see myself committing any crimes. I haven’t been in trouble with the law since I quit drugs 32 years ago.
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Yes I have a fear, I would never want to be locked up, I used to have delusions that even normal places are Prison’s, I think it’s the dislike being stuck in situations that you don’t want to be in
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@Divergent it’s good to know I am not alone in this… now I realize many people struggle with this fear.
@77nick77 It’s amazing. 32 sober years is an amazing thing. Mmm, I need to add, yeah, I also don’t think I will commit a crime. But I have this fear of losing control or not knowing that I did it. But I gues it’s my OCD thoughts and overthinking non stop.
@LevelJ1 you know I had the same/similar. I remember during pscyhosis I also had these visuals of doing something bad… It’s very very relatable what you said. OCD is ain’t that bad as hallucinations or delusions of murder or other horrific things.
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I had bad harm OCD and later it was just ordinary OCD ten years back in time before I started Qutiapine. The final and last OCD thought I had was to drop my close in front of the supermarket and walk naked through.the store so that’s my main reason for taking 600 mgs of the good old Quited.
Today I have zero OCD.
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@Ghosts it’s amazing. Amazing you won this fight with OCD.
I still cannot. After many years.
And I never took any medicines for it
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Let my add to the conversation that my OCD were much worse than my hallucinations. Nothing is worse than finding yourself in situations were you feel like you are loosing control over your life.
I didn’t win over OCD I just found that all the pines took away the OCD. Pure luck.
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I used think similar things but have got this far without committing any serious crimes.
Prisons in England are overcrowded, Victorian buildings that are very violent and serve terrible food. That puts me off.
I don’t know what there like in the US but I can’t imagine there much fun.
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My checking ocd kinda ebbs and flows. Like today i checked the water tap like 9 times
The ritual
- I turn off the tap.
- Tap the top of the handle 3 times with 2 fingers
- Check underneath the tap with my hand.
So i could do that anywhere from 1 to say 24 times. When ive used it.
I usually do it in sets of 3 so if im lucky i get away with 3 times.
Then the door this morning i lock it then press on the handle 3 times then pull the door. Reoeat that about 6 times.
Oh and if i wasnt paying attention and i leave the room or house i pretty much have go back and do it again to be present.
I have some other one with my car as well. Turning various knobs 3 times tapping and sliding my finger along the windows to ensure there closed.
Ocd can be very very time consuming.
Ive done cbt for it but it is mostly a bandaid because when life gets stressful all the rituals return.
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