Either i am fitting new people into an old delusion, or i made an old delusion real. Im leaning toward the second one.
If i could tell u guys the details u’d prob believe me but i cant 
that would put me in danger and make the “delusion” more real so i have to suffer in silence
I wish i could think of an example to explain this but its complicated. Maybe ill try later
I feel like there is no where in this country to hide.
I have a plan to be more safe but even then i know i wont feel more safe. I already feel like its failable.
Did you go back on your haldol?
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Not yet. I need to do my plan to be more safe before i mess with my meds. I dont wanna lose my mind while i make life changing decisions.
I say i could lose my mind cause i dont wanna mix haldol and abilify so id have to wean off the abilify first. Then if the haldol isn’t enough i could be in real trouble while making life changing decisions. I need my mind as stable as possible.
I feel like theyre reading this and im making it worse but i have no one to talk to 
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Now i feel like they think my plan involves them. My plan is different. I feel like everything i say right now puts me in danger. I will not be breaking any connections. Its not about that.
Its like every google search, every word that comes outta my mouth, every keystroke may put me in danger.
Im so â– â– â– â– â– â– â– alone in this
This is the only place i can even barely talk about this and everyone will just think im delusional
Im 99 percent sure im not delusional but here i am posting in the “unusual beliefs” catagory cause its all ive got. No one will believe me.
well, the good news is that you are aware you are delusional…immediately tell your pdoc about this so he can stabilize you.
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Im 99 percent sure im not delusional. 60% sure of something else. And my dr moved away and they never replaced her. Its ben a year and a half. I have no appt. My primary care dr just refills my prescriptions but i dont think she wants to anymore
I cant even talk to myself inside my own house without fearing they are listening. Maybe i could go outside and talk but then i fear they may still hear me.
Idk if i wanna say it outloud even to myself anyway
Why does the government have to require information about everything
You stopped your prescribed haldol, just get back on it, you’re torturing yourself and suffering
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The only reason I reply now relevant is that I can understand that you are struggling and are very alone with your thoughts. If I could then
I would cures you and say that things will turn out right in the end.
You see I’ve been abandoned by the psychiatric treatment team just like you some weeks ago.
So now were nobody are looking over our shoulders we must learn to take our meds.
And please remember that I’m on your side Rellevant.
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