Hello fellow diagnosed schizofreniacs (I just invented the word, I know). I am not having a good time at all.
I’m hardly writing right now, when I talk my words come out very slowly and a bit mingled, I feel unmotivated and had suicidal thoughts. I tried exercising to shake off the depression, but being always tired gets me even worse.
I am taking my abilify pill on a daily basis, I only skipped one or two in three months. My baby is next to me and I try to smile at him so that he does not copy my bad moods and expressions, but I don’t know how much longer I can cope with this feeeling of pain, uselessness and urgence.
My husband tries to explain to me what happens to my brain, he studies hard in order to understand these things. But it just does not come out right, I always end up in pain and crying, I am nothing like the woman I used to be.
My husband tells me that my thoughts don’t seem to have their logic together anymore. I tend to believe him, as he is my person of trust, we have an understanding that if he tells me that I’ll do whatever it takes to get back on track with my schizophrenia. Well, I don’t really know what to do.
I took Solian for a few months and it was more than ok , but then again, on Solian I have no menses and I have a very high prolactin level, so I even lactate amply. I had to quit that. I unwillingly took up Abilify, and it was ok for m=some time, but right now I feel like I am about to get hospitalised again and I fear for my family’s safety, as they depend on me to care for the nine months kid.
I really don’t know what to do right now. Please let me know if you have anything to say at all about this. I guess I need some kind of support from people who have been through this already.