My personally favourite is " I’m not a bad person because I have BPD. Don’t make me feel guilty about it".
There are many things you may not know about borderline personality disorder (BPD). Like how it affects 50 percent more people than Alzheimer’s disease. Or how research has shown people with BPD who engage in treatment have good outcomes. Or how just because you’ve seen one media portrayal of someone with BPD, doesn’t mean you know what someone with BPD is actually like.
To shine some light on this misunderstood mental illness, we asked people in our community who live with borderline personality disorder to tell us what they wish others understood.
Here’s what they want you to know:
“I feel everything, all the time. It’s exhausting. But it also makes me passionate, which is beautiful.” — Aliçia Sarah Raimundo
“Please don’t point out when I overreact. It’s not easy to get over it myself. I beat myself up over my words and actions fine on my own.” — Tatauq Helena Muma
“We feel more intensely. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re more sensitive. Depression just isn’t depression for us; it’s rockbottom. Happiness isn’t just happiness; it’s the greatest high ever.” — Heather Yonkers
“My mind and heart could be telling you I love you while my words are the direct opposite. Don’t take it personally. Allow me to take a nap or write down my thoughts for better communication.” — LeChondra Sapp
“Don’t believe the stereotype. Not everyone with BPD has anger outbursts and manipulative behaviors. That’s the type of BPD often portrayed to the extreme in the media, but not everyone with BPD is the same! Just because I don’t fit the stereotypical borderline doesn’t make my illness less valid. — Alyse Ruriani
“BPD is the best curse. To be able to feel every emotion to the fullest can often be very rewarding. However, we feel the bad to the fullest, too. The smallest problem could feel like the end of the world. Personally, I have lost a lot of people because I’m ‘too much to handle.’ The struggle is real, but guess what? Without stuggle there is no progress.” — Tia Marie
“There’s no reason to be afraid of me.” — Jennifer Davis
“I’m not trying to start drama.” — Mary Hannah Cleve
“My moods change constantly. I have zero control of my own emotions. If you think it’s a roller coaster knowing me, imagine how hard it is being stuck in my own head. I promise you that I’m trying hard to keep myself in check, it’s really difficult though.” — Sam Thayer
“I wish people understood the fear of abandonment. It’s so hard to trust.” — Aunt Sam
“I’m not ‘difficult’ — even psychiatrists assume this! I’ve had doctors make up excuses not to see me when I mention borderline. I’ve learned not to even talk about it.” — Jenna Bagnini
“We are not all manipulative, selfish people.” — Maureen Damico
“I’m just as confused by it as you are.” — Vikki Rose Donaghy
“Please don’t say, ‘It’s because of your BPD’ all the time. My opinion matters even if it doesn’t line up with your opinion. I am not my diagnosis.” — Victoria Torgerson
“Sometimes my constantly switching moods may seem conflicting and make you frustrated, but I’m the one experiencing it. Sometimes I can’t make sense of it either.” — Christina Chalgren
“When I say my moods switch within seconds, I mean literally seconds. That’s why I always say ‘I’m OK’ — because I’ve been called a liar when my mood changes from an extreme high to an extreme low in two seconds. It’s like being on a roller coaster I can’t get off of, no matter how badly I want to.” — Dylan Jonathen Kirchhoff
“We’re not all lying, attention-seekers. Sometimes we’re just doing our best to survive with the limited skills we have.” — Mirella Joy
when I first got sick after being diagnosed with schizophrenia in the hospital they diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder with psychotic NOS at the mental health clinic. I know now they just missed the diagnosis being schizoaffective disorder. They must have focused on the mood problems instead of the psychosis. Though your list is very enlightening. thanks for posting it.
When I was a teen I was diagnosed as BPD. In my early twenties I worked really hard with my therapist learning mindfulness. It drastically changed who I am. I no longer “act” like a Borderline but still have the thinking, the fear of abandonment and black and white thinking. It starts to come out with the people closest to me at times. My boyfriend who I love will go from being high on the pedestal to down in the dungeon. Those times I want to break up with him. My last therapist helped me through those times because it’s not really my boyfriend it’s the disorder. Seeing things a different way has helped me see him with gray colored glasses, that he has good qualities and bad qualities.
This is a great list though. The points about the emotions really hit home from when I was a teen and in my twenties. Thanks for sharing!
Maybe, having BPD, BP type 1 fast cycling with DID with psychotic adds for all the extra fun!
i do not normally say all that very openly as most people react badly with out knowing what all the letters mean, stigma is down to the person and sadly the media does not help us whatever your head stuff is.
As mental health people? persons? we seem to as a group the easy pickings for others to stigmatize and make fun off
"Is okay to call her names as she is crazy!" Over heard that one about myself in high school, just as the table i would eat at was named the crazy ward etc. We all have stories is not really about who’s dx is worse to me is about how we deal, cope with the head stuff and others around us.
Having had moderate borderlinism (along with immoderate bipolar) since I was a teen, having married two of them, and having had several “powerdive” decompensations into the “tunnel of terror” in the '90s and early '00s, I was highly motivated to focus on BPD and Bipolar when I got the funding.
I was AA’s “tornado roaring through the lives of others.” I don’t deny that now. But I did. Seduce and abuse. Bait and bite. Got yer combat boots on? 'Cause these aren’t eggshells on the floor. This stuff is broken glass.
I deserved to be judged for my actions. And not for my intentions.
The “executive personality” Marsha Linehan, Stephen Hayes, Mark Williams, Stanley Block, Patricia Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine and many others (see below) helped me to develop via psychotherapy has made it possible for me to observe to notice to recognize to acknowledge to accept to own to appreciate to understand how and why my mind was split into warring fragments with fuses attached to them.
And to just look, listen and feel those “warriors” fighting for control of my behavior. Some fear abandonment and isolation, viewing them to be the absolute worst things that could happen. Others fear abuse, threat and humiliation. The former loathe and despise the latter. And vice-versa. My E/P observes them and allows their thoughts and feelings to be heard and felt before I am forced to watch their behavior now. For the most part.
Saying you have a BPD here will make people stare at you with their mouths open; saying that you have schizophrenia though, will make them nod their heads and run away.
I have weird relationship with my psychiatrist. (Well, as supposed) I will go to therapy, have a great hour or more, then I’m gone for months. I will talk to her on phone and send her messages, then I’ll stop communicating for weeks. I will seek help then feel like not doing anything. So on. I think she is fed up with me by now.
Tough lesson to learn. I burned through some people who loved me deeply but eventually had to escape what I was doing. Solution: recognize the actions that were taking me further from what I wanted and stop doing them.
Hard, painful work, especially when I knew what not to do but didn’t have the slightest clue about what I should do instead.
People with BPD are way too much trouble. This post tries to sugar coat it but anyone who has dealt with someone who has BPD knows what they’re like. You should see the reactions staff members in clinics and hospitals have when they find out someone is BPD. They know, they deal with them all the time.
The worst part is that it’s just bad behavior. So much lying, manipulation, and attention seeking. If you ever find yourself in a relationship with someone who has BPD, run.
Lol it’s OK. I’m also sorry for all my future mistakes.
The good thing is that I know more and more why I feel and do such things. ( and now you know too )
)