Am just curious as to what your worst psychotic break has been? I understand may be very personal so only for those who wish to share. Mine was thinking police were following me so going to the police station to demand they stop
Tonight. I hope the trash upstairs can hear me
They’ve all been bad. The first one probably because I didn’t know what was happening to me. I would watch TV, or read a book and I would think I’d become my favorite female character in the story. Not just pretend, actually believe it. I was in high school at the time, I’d sign assignments by the name of the character. I’d take on their persona. I truly didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. It took a long time, I was hospitalized for like six months. When I got out I’d go to the library and research Schizophrenia.
The more I knew about the more I think I subconsciously made the decision of what was real and what was in my head. If no one around me reacted to it, it must have been in my head. So most of high school I stayed quiet with my head low just observing things around me to see what was there and what wasn’t.
The second time, it was equally as bad. I knew I had Schizophrenia, knew what it meant at the time but I believed I had bugs on me. I could swear I felt them. I could see them. But no one else did. It caused me to have several severe panic attacks like every night. It was worse after I tried laying down for bed. Both time stress caused the breaks in reality. The stress of starting high school, the stress of working 7 days a week and 8 hour shifts for several months a year to going to working only a couple days a few hours a day…very unsteady and unstable work conditions, I don’t think my mind could handle it after 3 years and it just snapped. I had to quit and was able to work with my doctor so I didn’t have to be hospitalized.
Lately I’ve been having issues again but again stress. we just moved to a new city, a place I’m not familiar with. I was able to get some things on my to-do list taken care of. Still haven’t figured some things out. Then next week I’m going on a 8 hour car drive south to Austin Texas to visit my brother. Another place I’ve never been. Though I have had long car trips, it’s normally been up to Iowa, a place I’m familiar with. People I know (family). Texas, all I know is my brother, his girlfriend and if she can come over his daughter…but she’s in retail and may have to work that weekend being black Friday and all.
I don’t have a doctor at the moment unless I can get an emergency visit with my old doctor in St. Louis, but its’ a two hour drive back up there. I’m seeing shadows places there shouldn’t be shadows, movement out of the corner of my eyes. high anxiety levels. I’m barely holding it together. I just want to scream…
I think the worst was thinking people were trying to get me to commit suicide. I took off to Texas, but I came back. I bought a .22 auto handgun - not the type of gun you could open up in a crowd and kill a lot of people with, but it did provide an extra degree of self protection.
My first and worst psychotic break was believing that my husband was trying to kill me through poisoning my food and drink. I was 45 years old at the time and had been married for 17 years. My husband ended up leaving me due to the psychosis and subsequent diagnosis of schizophrenia.
Mine was last year when i thought a nurse that i knew lived below me and was keeping tabs on me. I thought there were cameras in the smoke alarms so i ripped them all out the wall. I also could have sworn that they had put microphones on there celiing to they could listen in, after all i could hear them talking about me. The police ended up being called cos i threatened the bloke downstairs to try and get this nurse to leave me alone. Thankfully i wasnt arrested and was diagnosed soon after. Took about a year for the poor old chap downstairs id harassed to talk to me again. 
Thought my dads best friend was a reptillian alien and went and attacked him. Then had a seizure and a heart attacked and died for 2 minutes was put into a coma for 5 days and pumped with anti psychotics
Thought was being hypnotised to say and do things
Thought I had multiple personality disorder
Thought I was being abused
Lived in the dark at home for 2 years
Threw everything I owned away
Lights were sending me messages
People on TV could see me and were sending messages
Thought I was on camera all the time
(spent countless hours looking for the website about me)
Racing thoughts
tv was sending me messages.
my cat was a robot.
spies were sending me telepathically dizziness.
I wrote a love letter to a voice asking her to marry me.
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Regarding The love letter to the voice was it the voice of someone you knew?
I have the voice of a man I met at work place
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I wrote about it in my book
heres an excerpt
Chapter 18 The Grand Finale
It was the final day before my license was to be suspended, but I wasn’t really aware of that. All that was on my mind was the great mysteries that I were solving. The great revelations that I was coming to. My mind kept bouncing back between one weird thought to another. I went to the beach and I saw a police officer. I was standing in the rain feeling the cool may breeze brush up against my medium length hair. Once again the man inside of me was controlling me. I drove all over town and came to another great revelation. My life was an experiment, a game, and everybody in my life was a paid actor. I truly believed that to my heart. This made me happy, and infuriated me simultaneously, since it was all so damn true. It was about 3:30 P.M. when I got pissed at the institutions exposing me to this certain experiment, and I began driving my car like a maniac. After all I was invincible. I started off by going over the speed limit, driving in the middle of the road. I would smoke a bowl of weed in the middle of traffic while everyone would stare at me. When I was speeding, driving in the middle of the road and the cars pulled over to the side, it felt as if I was splitting the Red Sea, like Moses. When I went through the red lights, went over the speed limit, weaved in and out of traffic on the main road in town, the post road, because I was the chosen one, it caught the attention of a police officer. In this state of mind I could have kept going. But I stopped. I figure it would be interesting to get the other side’s opinion on the matter of me being the chosen one, the police officers. So after about 15 minutes of driving like a maniac, purposefully, I was pulled over and pulled out of my car at gunpoint. I was lucky I wasn’t shot. When he questioned me I laughed continuously and he began to insult me. There was an officer in training with him and I asked if he was an officer in training. When he said “yes” it further reinforced the belief that I was psychic.
Then they took me to the station and put me in my cell. When my parents arrived I hallucinated that they had a big smile on their faces. And maybe they did, they were happy I just didn’t get hurt. Although they must have been pretty upset I had been arrested and whatnot and caused the whole town go into panic mode with my driving abilities. If I was a bad driver, I would have gotten in an accident, but I was a very skilled driver, so I was able to avoid it. Although that still doesn’t make it right or just or okay. It also means I’m very lucky. When they bailed me out of jail I was brought to a mental hospital
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My worst break happened when I was a teenager. I was paranoid all day that something bad was going to happen cause I kept seeing cockroaches everywhere but no one else could see the cockroaches. And then when I got home I got in to an argument with my parents which resulted in my dad beating me up. At which point I totally lost it I was convinced that they were being mind controlled by my therapist who was convincing them to hurt me(I don’t believe this anymore) so I ran away from home and slept in a nearby park and I practically lived there for the week. I would only come home when my parents weren’t there and I missed school for like a week cause I was convinced everyone would try to kill me after this incident. Eventually my parents found me though and threatened me with getting locked up if i ever ran again. So it was shitty.
no. it was letter to a goddess-voice in my head.
last year. first one. trying to not make it number two.
I was trying to replace my medicine with medical marijuana. Yeah, do not do that.
The cold sweat was unbearable, the voices were all I had. My newly graduated sister with a social worker degree kept coming to my house, and the day of my break, she probably thought she was helping, but she was elevating my anxiety because of the existing issues in my family. She filed paperwork on me to be committed and I had to be taken down by 4 cops. One of them put a finger in my mouth and was surprised I bit it. That just got me placed at a hospital for dangerous patients. Bad place.
I know what the hospital is, and I know how my husband does when I am in the hospital, so I am trying my best to stay out of the hospital. I am trying to understand my illness . I can do this and I am doing this thanks to you all,
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I was paranoid and thought that government agents were after me and they were following me by bugging my cell phone. And I had to get to Mobile, Alabama to meet someone whose website I read on the internet but who I did not know and had never been in contact with. I got my brother to go with me and then I got paranoid about our cell phones so I made him destroy his cell phone and then I threw my cell phone away. Then I made him buy us bus tickets to Mobile Alabama. But by the time the bus was ready to go I got scared and decided not to go on the bus. But the tickets were not refundable so I had wasted my brother’s money. The whole time I thought God was going to strike me dead or the government agents were gonna get me. I remember looking at the clouds and thinking they were a sign from God saying he was angry at me. Of all of my episodes this one was the most frightening and one of my first ones from before I knew what was wrong with me.
Another frightening thing that happened to me was when I saw a water bug in the bathtub. I was spitting up blood at the time. So I spit up blood in the bathtub and I thought that the bug would drink it. Afterwards I was terrified about it and I thought that I had fed my soul to the water bug and that when I died the water bug would have my soul and I would go to hell with the water bug’s soul.
I can not articulate or explain my most difficult ones.
My worst one was I thought I had a microchip under my left armpit implanted by my psychiatrist who wanted to control me because I had special powers. I was panicked by it and incredibly obsessed about it, it was all I thought about it. I went to my GP so they could take it out, he said he couldn’t feel anything. I become paranoid he was in on it. I got drunk and tried cutting it out myself and severely hurt myself. Special emergency doctors got called to my house it was that bad, blood everywhere. Ambulance rushed me to hospital. I was there awhile. The worst thing was my group home placement was now in jeopardy, it took the night staff all night to clean all the blood up, all the drips. I scared my housemate, made one cry. They wasn’t going to take me back. I feel bad. I never want to get that bad again and have learned to try and judge my thoughts and delusions. I now work with my team.
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