As in, what do they literally say? Can you quote (verbatim) the stuff said to you or about you? If everyone could say what they hear that would be great, as I’m trying to do some analysis on the things said.
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I’ve only heard voices not my own on two, three occasions. they were so quick, I don’t recall what the voices said. my ‘voices’ insinuated that there weren’t enough of my kind on the streets and to pursue homelessness. not voices, more a delusion, I assume. but the insinuation was strong, so much so that if not for the bit of sanity I was clinging to, I would’ve been forced to panhandle for a bus ticket home . glad it didn’t get to that
The voice told me,“I’m going to hurt you.”
I could write a whole damn book.
I have three voices.
Voice number three is the me before schizophrenia, the naive yet noble 17 year old fighter (I was a fighter in high school) and student at a prestigious school.
He says things like “don’t stop” when I’m running for exercise and also tells me when I do well and tells me what not to do and sometimes what to do. For example, he told me to not break recently when I had a crisis because I forgot a medication and was being eaten alive in a research lab meeting the next day on two hours of sleep and psychotic. I managed to pull it together and came out better than I went in. Most people would have straight up broken down.
My other voices are no good and not to be discussed with strangers.
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One thing I get is when I’ll be thinking about something, a voice will say “who cares?” And I sit and wonder if what I’m thinking about is stupid or something, since it came out of my own head. I get that one a lot.
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What else I want to know
I just herd my mom say “I’m a robot chick.”
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They tell me I’m going to get bad news in the mail.
“Have sex with me.”
“Let me into thee.”
“The precise prosufication of this disease is in check.”
“He’s a sorcerer. We have a new sorcerer.”
“Abstain & Earn.”
“When the time is right, you’ll be free from all iniquity.”
“To be or not to be - that is the cure.”
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You mean figuratively say?
ok.
“What are you writing a book on the subject?”
“why don’t you leave this out and call it a mystery?”
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My voice told me,“I am a king.”
I’ve heard that too. Imagine that. Imagine being a metaphysical king, but treated like a poverty disabled person all your life on Earth?
Who knows what we’re destined to become…
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Argo….….……151515
“I am Pan.” Don’t really want to say it…today I feel possessed but that is common w sz. Right? Does anyone else’s voices have names?
The commentator … comments on everything I do… in that golf whisper… making me think I’m always being watched…
“Now J is picking up the spoon… no… he’s decided to go for the water… one sip… that’s different… he’s going for the fork… but this is soup… yes… he’s picking up the spoon.”
The panic man just runs around my head shouting “danger… it’s danger… it’s all danger… we’re going to get injured… we’re going to be in a car crash… danger… more danger”
The good doctor is more logical and gives me the tools to fight off the negative stuff…
The little girl is too dark… sick and sexually explicit to repeat in public. I hate the voice most of all…
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One early morning at sunrise im just standing there having a smoke and they all be like and stuff “Look at the tree there. Root, trunk, branches, and leaves. This is exactly how existance is shaped. There is the root or source material and world and it all branches out from there, they used to call said world or material the “spirit”, all is spirit.”
So that was strange. Random voice in my head talking about the structure of reality and existence. Okay, seems like that isn’t so much a disease but whatevs yo.
And then one dark dark night i was thinking about the orgies in eyes wide shut and i began to laugh at how they thought it was so great. Out of nowheres force was put on me spine and it began to slowly bend backwards until my breathing was messed up, i gasped. It stopped my laughing to say the least.
Voice goes, “show my children some respect.” So i stand there for a few more moments and i just couldn’t help myself i started laughing again. I thought i might really get hurt but i couldn’t ■■■■■■■ help it i just started laughing again.
They go into detailed explanations about how miracles work and how they are just mundane happenings with mundane explanations. A real thing but they aren’t magic or nuttin they say, they have reasonable yet “unseen” world kind of explanations.
Im really not sure about this but one day they were like “if you have a body you know then reality itself has borders. You can literally see the edges of existence if you have a body. i know i know you are spatial, never mind.” So i asked them “whats outside of it?” They go. “There is no outside of anything.” I ask. “It is spatially finite though right?” They go. “Yep. It is.” I ask. “Whats outside of it?” They go. “There is no outside of it and yet it’s spatially finite, it exists, there is no outside of existance.” I go. “Hmmm?!” Just right now they all be like “ill refer you back to the tree man, root and branches, it’s all finite, if you had a body you can see the edge of existance but you are made of existance so you can’t go outside of yourself. Pretty crazy right?”
Lately they talk about how our universe is shaped like a doughnut. Some would say torus but we like to call it a doughnut because it’s ■■■■■■■ hilarious to say that.
When I came off abilify I went nuts for 3 months. I had a team of people in my head and thought they were other people’s spirits and I had like a biological cell phone attached in my head tapped into them and that we’d meet someday. I had Lady Gaga, Christopher Lee and some other less grandiose people. I was friends with them and they told amazing stories of my past lives. Then there was alien stuff too. In short I was on a mission to save the world or so I thought. When I smoked pot we would all work together to compose beautiful music and the songs were actually good. We each had our own instruments. I also think I remember giving birth to a new alien life form. I also had a few psychic girlfriends. I got naked in public because I thought Christopher Lee was rebirthing me from a fire hydrant. In the meantime I had a huge swarm of fireants eating my leg up. I thought they were cleansing a bad part of my soul left over from a lifetime with aliens. The police took me into a hospital and strapped me to a table. I thought the illuminati had got to me. The stories go on and on.
Eventually after I passed all the tests the voices had me go through the conversation came to the voices were on their way to meeting me in person as actual people. Well they never showed up and that’s when I realized it was all a big mindjob and it wasn’t real.
In the meantime I had driven from my apartment and abandoned the car on the road thinking there was a nuclear bomb in it. I was in hospitals and group homes the next 3 months. That’s when I finally found a series of medications that worked for me, Zyprexa and haldol. It took me a while to sort out all the spiritual stuff but I think it’s all ■■■■■■■■ these days and feel grounded for the first time in my life.
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they are a good influence as long as they are under control,
the way i control my thoughts and my outside influences is by only listening to the stuff that makes sensem the good stuff, the helpful stuff and disregard the rest, well not just disregard it i mean you have to disagree and go against what it says, tell yourself ‘no.thats wrong’ ‘thats definitely wrong’ etc but there is thought blocking where you can just change your thought pattern at that time and just completely focus on the good. some people find it really hard to do this and maybe my voices havent had a chance to progress and maybe my voices are not as persistent but they could be if i let things get out of hand, maybe if i wasnt taking meds they’d get out of hand or maybe if they were not as nice, idk but whatever works works.
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The voice doesn’t tell me to do anything. It merely comments. I can choose to listen to it or talk to myself, but once I get started talking to myself, it is very difficult to bring the voice back. I feel foolish then, and guilty. I find counting my breaths helps bring things under control if they start getting out of control. Lately, I have begun to think the voice is going to be reliable. You know, always there and always sanely commenting so I don’t have to think. This is a 13 year progression within a psychosis.
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my voices call me a snake because I don’t worship Satan. They also ask me what do I get “insert whatever I thought” from? They also get mad when I don’t talk to them. They make sexual noises and they try to get me to participate. They also say that they are going to use the bathroom on me. And they call me an a**wipe. They also have some infatuation with Koreans. I don’t know why but they do. They also want to possess me because of the fact that I’m light skinned. They are annoying voices and most of them are quite negative.
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