I don’t know why I can’t seem to step into that shower. The whole thought of it is repulsive. I can’t make myself do housework either. The funny thing is is that I am a composer and I can spend hours at the piano writing music, but, the thought of getting into the shower and lathering myself up and then rinsing and then drying myself off and then dressing is more than I can bear. The thought of cleaning my house is just too overwhelming for words. I don’t think I am depressed. I am not sad. I do not feel hopeless about anything. And, although my 30 year old son died 3 years ago, I know where he is, and I know he has it much better off than the rest of us.
Maybe you need to remind yourself the importance of cleanliness.
I used to have a hard time getting in the shower and cleaning when I was ill. The thought of the water hitting me, or being exposed, was not appealing to me. I was afraid something would happen to me in there. My psychiatrist encouraged me to take baths instead of showers, using wet cloths to clean myself. It helped a lot. As to cleaning the house, I have trouble with that too. I live with my parents, and they do all the cleaning spare my room. So my room is a mess, and it’s overwhelming… My therapist tells me to make a list, and check off things I do on the list as I go along. And to pick a couple of days a week where I can work on the room, and stick to those days.
Thankyou Elizabeth, you are giving me some good ideas. Now, if only I can keep the tub clean…
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If you can live that way, more power to you, but if you want a relationship, you need to shower.
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i have trouble motervating myself to tidy and have trouble with showering because i always feel watched and dont want people to see my naked
Taking a shower takes only five (5) minutes of your time, I could take shower every day, so 35 minutes a week, but I take three times a shower, 15 minutes a week, It is not much, you can do it too.
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I remember when I had trouble showering I thought the water droplets were razorblades. Once I got over that fear, the only thing I had to overcome was the fear of exposure and vulnerability that came with being naked in the shower. Baths helped a lot though, I don’t know why. I suppose I find them therapeutic. So dunking my head underwater made me feel better. The cleaning part was so hard though. Like washing my hair, shaving, making sure I get all the suds off. I still have some trouble…but I use a checklist in my head to remember what to do. Unfortunately if I get lazy I’ll skip things. I don’t know how to avoid that.
My therapist works with me a lot on cleaning skills. She helps me break down the tasks. Like first start with the laundry, get that in the machine so you have that stuff OUT of your room, so there’s more space to work. Then if you have to make your bed, do that so you can use it to put things on as you are moving things around. I’m having trouble today. I did laundry last weekend, did not put it away, and now new laundry is piling up on the floor… I see my therapist tomorrow, I will talk to her about that. I just feel so unmotivated.
I have simplified many things, I have just one fork, one spoon, two knives, one glass, two plates and two bowls when I eat I immediately do my dishes and so I have no dirty dishes ever, then I have one plastic bag for dirty clothes and when it is full, I take it to one laundry place, and so on, but taking a shower takes as much time as this music performance lasts 
i know how you feel. the meds made me feel that way. its mental blocks we cant get over. google some poisonous bacteria and scare yourself to shower
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I had that problem when very ill, that I just could not stand a shower more than once a week. It was just too much effort. I made myself shower “if I needed it or not”
But then I used to take a long time to shower so it was too much.
Now I have tried taking shorter showers. and just scrubbing the dirty parts and more soap all over for everything else. It took much less time so it was easier. And then my hair looked better too.
I have had a deep problem with showering. For years I couldn’t shower… the noise… the feel of the water hitting me… the uneven temp… not being able to hear what was going on outside… all of it… no way.
I took baths for years and years. Wash my hair in the sink and then take a bath later in the day. I was taking a bath as a way to decompress the stress… not think of it as a cleaning chore… for a while yes… I wore my swim suit.
But just this past summer… as I’ve been working on this problem… my sis bought a different shower head… it’s more gentle and has a softer sound and feel. It’s also a more even temp to the water. It’s the gentle flow that really made a difference.
She bought one of those really large shower heads that feels more like a soft rain in stead of the tiny pressure hose feeling one we used to have.
I hope you find some ideas so you can feel better. Your not alone in this one.
My son was scared to take shower when he first came to live with us. Before that he lived alone for 2 years after getting ill, and I didn’t think he took shower. He said someone was watching him and the thought of removing his cloths for shower was a big issue for him. His Dad stood outside at first for few weeks and his showers were quick. May be you can start with quick shower OR bath to begin with then go from there. Good luck!
in hospital and just when home from hospital my support worker would stand outside of the room but in front of the door so i felt safe enough to have a shower
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I don’t have a shower but it’s been months since I had a bath. I have had strip washes. When my wife was alive I bathed every day but over the nearly 10 years of solo living it gradually slipped. Apart from the motivation issue there is the anxiety attached to having a bath and changing clothes. Changing clothes means having to do more washing means using the washing machine more .
You know that feeling waiting for the prick of the needle when getting blood taken at the hospital? We just kind of hold our breath and get through it. I sometimes try that just-go-for-it slam right through the pain, my gosh it’s uncomfortable but whatever, not stopping here, it’s painful but slamming through further still… until I’m in the shower and it’s running… then I get clean and get out. I hope that made sense. Maybe try that?
sorry you lost your son, but really those that we lose are in our hearts forever.
take care
For some reason it takes me more than 5 minutes to shower, although I’ve never timed myself.
Thanks for telling me the reason for this problem. I could not figure out why I was stuck in such inertia and at the same time, not depressed. Everybody was insisting that I was depressed when I knew I was not. Although my Dr. did not think I was depressed.
You sound like you understand more what I’m going through. Thanks for your advice.