i still have suicidal thoughts and i told my therapist this who told my psychiatrist and he raised the dose of the amitriptyline which helped but i still deal with depression almost daily. i have schizoaffective disorder i have been diagnosed and rediagnosed multiple times since 2010,
Do you really think itās the medicine? It does work on my positive symptoms, Iām not hearing that much of voices, itās just my negative symptoms. Poor concentration on my studies, lack of motivation and other which makes me feel this way
I believe this time is my lowest point of life. Is it the age, illness or medicine? I donāt know. Even if I do, it wonāt make any difference
Share with your doctor donāt just assume because you have sz that you canāt recover to an acceptable level. My doc tells me lack of concentration is something he needs to know about immediately. I have taken meds that mess with my concentration. Changing meds can be a little difficult as you donāt know what your in for. Iāve also gone to older meds because I used to worry about the price. It was a great healing relief to get on meds that were affordable if I lost my insurance. Give your doctor a chance to improve your condition but if you have been suicidal, you need to make some changes while your thinking straight. Get some support itās not all about the meds but you need an acceptable balance of things. Also if your doctor wants to tell you that this is as good as it gets. I would look for another doctor.
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I understand even though I have gone through everything youāve been through. I have had paranoid schizophrenia since I was 19 years old and Iām 55 years old now. That is 36 years.
Schizophrenia is survivable and its possible to have a social life, it is possible to be employed, it is possible to go to school. it is possible to get married some day, etc. You may not get all those things but it is entirely possible to do at least two or three, or more of those things. my advice is to use people on here as examples. You will see many success stories and inspirational stories from people who were in situations similar to yours or worse.
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Thank you people for all your efforts on this matter! At least I donāt feel that alone
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My 2 cents
Imagine yourself 60 with someone you met 30 years earlier
Imagine a success with people acknowledging you as a professional
Imagine going travelling by yourself or with a partner, or meeting a holiday romance and going back a few times a year just to be with them
Imagine studying an evening course and the home study from that fulfilling more than a lot of people get from a degree
Or, getting that degree
I canāt tell you what your life will be like or what course your illness will take but Iāve seen all this and more in myself and others here
Just donāt miss all this stuff cos thatās also life with schizophrenia
Of course take the meds being the one confition
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I can imagine, yes I can but no guarantees that this is gonna happen for sure. What so ever
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None of us get a guarantee
Yes, you are right
I do however hear that you are coming from a seemingly hopeless placeā¦ I am 42 and happy and I donāt get that kind of feeling any more really
20s are like a second teenage years they were for me
slightly more adult but not all the way
God that sounds condescending I donāt mean it like that
Financially they are a mess Being sent home just means they donāt have the beds possiblyā¦
Then how do I need to survive my 20s?
How did you manage to survive?
For instance, Iām skipping my lectures - why? - Because I canāt wake up in the morning, I donāt have any motivation to go there, I canāt concentrate on over classes etc.
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I moved out of home, then went to a lot of support groups quite obsessive
I worked one evening in a youth club
I worked another time a day per week at yacht refit
And a once a week afternoon In a charity shop
These one thing a week things were all I could do apart from live shopping laundry etc socialise at support groups
Then I tried to overcome sz a few times
I tried to be a youth worker and the stress put me in hospital
A year later I was at art school which put me in hospital (stress that art is)
I did about 5 years of lots of yoga, in my 20.s that was my real passion
And having a very good best friend of a recovering heroin addict helped a lot until she met the love of her life
Then I met the wrong man and tried to come off my meds (vegan, spiritual, etc) which is not what cures sz - thatās what meds are for really
Then into my thirties I got a lot more unwell for 3 years and spent a Non compliant 3 years - half of that in florid psychosis getting worse and worse - I mean really bad - twice as bad as ever
Throughout living with my mum at least half of my 20,S and I was when I went on match.com and got picked up by a 35 y o inexperienced train spotter with Asperger syndrome
I thought he was non sexual so I coped with how perfect he was in every other way
Ten years later Iām 7 years married and living independently and basically realised that itās me thatās not able to have sex on this med
I used to be extremely sexual so itās been a weird change
But instead Iāve written plays and Iām running a community theatre company
Iām someone who has a trust fund and good benefits and a husband in work and a still doting mum
My husband is amazing
I recommend a man who you think might be boring but isnāt - theyāre just kind
I was on a depot for a few years out of hospital
Now take it orally,
On a huge dose cos of career stress
Still a bit mad but recovering I hope
I quit smoking and drinking
You will read people who have a worse time
My sister never became lucid even with 12 years straight psychosis
Others here are real ghetto (lol- )
Itās possible the motivation might not come easily just now
Iāve spent summers on couches and almost a year in a ward
Anti depressants are miracle drugs I know sz also has to depression for virtually every last one of us and docs acknowledge this
They helped with severe anxiety as well
Hope youāre still reading
Itās a wonderful life
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How far are you out of psychosis currently?
The first 3 months are a bit limbo
If you were previously functioning quite well itās a hell of a blow really
I went straight from GCSEās to drugs for a year and a levels in psychosis
here I go again but Why am I so Antaly retentive?
I donāt know why Iām not considerate and donāt have socialskills
Why am I walking around with a stick up my bm
@mongolina please donāt hurt yourselfā¦suicide is always a mistake. I tried twice and all I got from it is shame and grief for having tried. I learned that God has a plan for all of us even though we may not be able to see that plan. I will pray for you.
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The last time I was really psychotic was summer 2016, it was really bad, I was in a hospital.
I was so bad that they were keeping me hold an injecting medication few times per day against my will, I was sleepy all the time because of what they were giving me, once they even tied me up with a straight jacket and Iām serious. Believe me itās no way good to be admitted there.
Also, about a month ago I got psychotic again but it doesnāt last long, I didnāt end up in a hospital. My mum didnāt call ambulance.