I have schizophrenia for 3 years now

I have schizophrenia for 3 years now. Since then I started being suicidal, I’ve tried to commit a suicide few times but I failed. I’m 23 years old. I’m seeing my psychiatrist every two months, I’m on aripiprazole 15 mg twice daily, quetiapine 200 mg once per night and lamotrigine 100 gm twice daily. Also, I’m taking diazepam when I need

No one from my family understands me. Everyone thinks I’m fine and that schizophrenia is nothing because it’s not fatal. But I feel that. I don’t feel well, no matter what. I’m taking my medication as prescribed and everything but it doesn’t work. No I’m not hearing voices as much as I used to but my whole life is breaking into small peaces. I can’t cope with as I used to, I can’t study, I can’t work. I feel hopeless and that makes me want to get away from it all.

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I have had schizophrenia for fourteen years. Believe me when I say it gets better with time. Statistically, one third of patients fully recover within ten years, one third do significantly better, and one third see minimal improvement. The main reason people see minimal improvement is because they don’t take their medications as prescribed, or they abuse drugs and alcohol. You are at the very beginning of your journey right now, and that is always the hardest. Things will improve.

My first time at college, I was a mess. I failed a bunch of classes. Now, I have an A so far. Just because you can’t study right now doesn’t mean you will never be able to study. Most of us moderators have recently gone back to school after taking a long break due to our illness. That is okay. Sometimes, you need to take a break in order to focus on getting better.

My family didn’t understand schizophrenia for a very long time. They wondered why I couldn’t just use my willpower to make myself get better. That is a very common reaction. Whenever I went to the hospital, my mom just told me I was being weak and seeking attention. When I would act too “crazy,” I would get punished. But then, I started to get better. And once my mom saw me actually improving as a direct result of my new medication, she finally started to understand that I really was sick the whole time, not just lazy. It took ten years, but now she is actually supportive and understanding.

I take 80 mg of Geodon right now. I also used to take amitriptyline, but my doctors recently took me off that one. When you’ve been stable for long enough, the doctors sometimes start trying to lower your medications. Usually, in the beginning, it takes a whole lot of medicine to get better. But once you’re better, you get lowered to what’s called a maintenance dose. When you’re on a maintenance dose, you have fewer side effects to deal with.

Seriously, you’re only in the beginning stages right now. It gets so much better than you know. Stick around and see. Also, it might be a good idea to start seeing a therapist or counselor weekly, if you can. Having someone to talk things through with helps me a lot.

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I feel suicidal sometimes too but what helps me is to stay busy. When I’m at home doing nothing things get magnified. Since feeling suicidal I’ve gotten a job, made plans to return to school, and am going on dates to look for a significant other. Things are improving and it’s my goal to have a independent life one day. Things got better for me when I started making an effort.

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I am sorry tukey but your case is very mild.
In many cases simply making an effort is not enough.

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I’m probably not that awful but my case is far from mild/ normal. At one point I thought I couldn’t work and tried staying at home too. I’d say to try it before giving up.

I am very motivated but my condition FORCES me to sit at home all day, doing nothing apart from exercise.
I hate it but there’s nothing I can do…
I am glad that your case is relatively mild and you were able to recover.
many are not able to recover.
By mild I mean that you were able to recover

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I wish I could recover… But it’s way too far

At the very least I know I can’t hike or exercise anymore or read for long periods of time. It’s not easy and sometimes I feel like I can’t hold out for the entire date. But I try not to let these things affect me. My am far from normal and would not consider myself recovered… Never mind. I have a lot of trouble with this illness and am not sure I can make it either. Tea helps a lot.

I agree with erez but maybe mild is not the right word, in some cases there is just a very bad acute psychotic phase but things get better, or other people have mostly positive psychotic symptoms and can do something.
But when the negative symptoms are strong… you are just a hopeless zombie.

tukey I responded because your comment is misleading…
Your comment may create the wrong impression that if you just make an effort things improve…
This is not true for many of us unfortunately…

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I used to be very intelligent before I got sick. But now I can’t finish university only because I can’t cope with anything, I can’t concentrate on study materials… It’s so complicated to live

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I sympathise with you mongolina…
I also used to be good at studies…

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Everyone around me thinks I’m lazy. But I’m not, I’m trying mate I’m trying, although, it’s pointless. Sometimes I wake up and I feel out of energy… sometimes I want to over this life… I don’t know if it’s due to schizophrenia, medication or something else

mongolina try to draw encouragement from the positive things.
At least you are able to come to the forum and express yourself…
Many are not able to do even that…

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I remember three days when I was lying on my bed and thinking only about overdose. I didn’t eat, I didn’t shower, I didn’t do anything - three days in a row. So I called my friend, told what was happening, she encouraged me to go to A&E. So I packed my stuff and went to A&E. I told them everything about voices, about thoughts of overdose but they looked at me and said go home. Basically they thought that I was an attention seeker!

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What I was trying to say is that people don’t understand us, they think we are lazy or seeking for attention. It’s unfair! I lost many friends due to this. Other thinks I’m attention seeker, crazy, lazy and many more…

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I have had sz for almost two years and I have had periods of recovery with periods of deterioration interspersed. @Ninjastar’s post really gave me some hope that in the future I will maybe recover. While these past two years have been a mess and I have been very suicidal at times I found that just praying and keeping faith that everthing will get better really helped me get through it.

Yes, often people don’t care and it is unfortunate. They are too tied up in their own issues to really consider yours. They are lazy and assume they know everything about this disease without researching it. They take you at face value. When all you need is a listening ear they start pushing you past your limitations. One reason for this is that we get the illness as adults, people tend to think adults should deal with their issues and just get past it. Another factor, because they can’t see the illness because it is not physical they tend to underestimate it. I have been appalled with the insensitive treatment I have received from people. Don’t blame them, they are only human and humans are simple creatures. Sometimes people cannot recognize something when it is sitting right between their eyes.

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Directly, people must seem to reject the truth of what you are going through, and that sucks big time.

But, at a distance, I, and many others, respect and care about you.

I have had 20 years of experience of dealing directly with others. Not good responses have I received.

I had to simply place myself above the others who oppose me, above those who refuse to see the truth.

I don’t care how bloody corny it sounds, but my heart is wrapped around yours.

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I have never heard of that. Unfortunately, I left my old pdoc when he mentioned tapering. I thought he was going to completely take me off my medication. I started lower than the sz dose it took me a matter of years to get to this dose though, so it might be a different situation for me.

If it’s been 3 years and your still having a lot of issues, might think about talking to your doctor about a med change. They added an antidepressant to my meds and it made a world of difference. Doctor didn’t think it would help but just said we can try. I seek after God and finding out about him ,it gives me purpose in life. Less stress and a future to look forward to , even if not in this life.