I visited my friend this morning. I do not like to talk about the past but she reminded me how suicidal I was in my darkest hour and that I was so ■■■■■■ up that I could not even cross a street. I could not answer a phone or opened a door if someone knocked.
Today I drive my car to almost anywhere. I go to the movies. I visit my sister and few friends. I have sort of meaningfull conversations. I shower everyday. I go for a walk everyday. I watch my favorite soapy and news everyday. I am not suicidal anymore. Sz is a debilitating illness but we can do better than being zombie robots. I am doing much better and I cope much better. I also have some insight.
To those on this forum who are also doing better…well done!
To those who are suffering and are not coping…it does get better…hang in there!
good on you…i am happy for you 
…
take care 
Well done @Fellowman , that’s an inspiring story. How many years did it take if you don’t mind me asking?
Excellent post. Great story and very inspirational. Just shows how people can change and get better and why you should not give up.
What did you have to do to get there? (Well. Don’t think these people on this forum aren’t interested in that.)
I was diagnosed in January 2010 when I was at my worst so it took me almost six years from then. I was undiagnosed for many years before that and my dx came as a kind of relief to me since finally someone was able to help me. Meds was my only hope so I put my faith in the pdoc and in the meds. It gradually helped me untill I am much better today.
I forced myself to stand up each day. Even if it was in the middle of the day. I used to sleep for 18 hours plus per day. I hang on to one of my friendships and my relationship with my sister. My sister use to send me possitive affirmations every day. She also made me kept a book wherein I had to write down everything that I have done for the day. It was hell to do that but I kept on hoping that things would change for the better. Some days the only things I wrote in the book was stuff like…today I stand up for 10 minutes…today I brushed my teeth…today I read an affirmation from my sister…today I went outside for 10 minutes…today I walked accross the street…today I took a shower.
I did not even took it day by day, I took it minute by minute to survive. I took it upon myself to accomplish small tasks. I felt no sense of accomplishment at the time since everything was such an effort. But if I look back today I am glad I never gave up the fight.
It was simple stuff like that but it kept me alive.
I lost so much because of this illness. My wife, my house, my career, my friends…
But if I think how ill I was way back since 2005 untill I got diagnosed in 2010, I am so greatfull that I have made it so far.
As for insight, I got a lot from this forum. I think I also got a lot from realising I cannot go without help and that I needed my psychologist and psychiatrist.
Thanks for the inspirational words! 
That is truly GREAT news.
Beautiful testimony! So happy for you, and so glad you shared. 
GREAT stuff in the early stages of recovery. Thank you SO much for sharing this.
You rock! It’s great that you’re doing so well. My 27 yr old son was diagnosed having SZ four years ago. Although we had a few major life threatening downs in the beginning, he’s doing much better on his meds. He never talks about his illness & what he’s gone through & we don’t ask. I respect that it’s story to tell & he knows we’re here for him if he wants to talk about it or needs any help. Last night on Thanksgiving, my 18 year old nephew who lost mother last year was at our home. A well intentioned friend ( I want to believe he was) starting saying things to him about his mom & her passing. I took him into another room & told him to shut the F-up–my nephew is well aware how his mom died & he had no business sticking his finger into his heart’s wound & then say “I’m here for you”. After this well intentioned friend left, my nephew & I talked for hours about his mom’s death–he unloaded–she was also mentally ill & used alcohol to cope. He feels guilt that his life is better without the drama & aggravation her illness caused & sad he couldn’t help her. I just wish people would have common sense & realize sometimes words are not necessary. Just show people your love & support & be there to listen if need be. Keep your fingers out of others wounds.
Understanding, compassion, empathy, unconditional positive regard, Great stuff for the sz pt in the early stages of the recovery.