That is the question I often ask myself after 30 years of schizophrenia/schizoaffective and then not having the diagnosis.
Was it years of diagnostic errors or did my symptoms change sufficiently to warrant the change?
What I do know is at one time my illness was a lot more acute. Whereas now it is very much chronic. At the time I doubted the schizophrenia/schizoaffective dx, or psychosis in general, but looking back with more insightful eyes I am no longer so sure.
Whatever the answer what I am primarily left with in terms of disablement are the emotional and social effects of my illness. These have transcended psychiatric diagnoses and the effects of medication.
The messages from psychiatry are confusing ie don’t give a psychotic diagnosis but prescribe an antipsychotic , say you have “psychotic symptoms” and lecture you when you get into a pattern of being late for your depots. The latter suggests they think I need the depot even though while turning up for it I often ask myself "Do I really need it ".
Perhaps I can see contradictions where there are none but there is an ambiguity in my mind.
I think I would prefer it to be clear cut either way.
i always feel for me it is best to live in the moment.
the past is a distant memory…
the future an unknown quantity…
the ’ moment ’ is the only tangible thing i can grasp onto…
you are a good person…who has suffered much.
take care 
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Things are not so clear for me as well - I am kind of in the same shoes as you, to an extent @firemonkey.
Heck, I have been told recently by more than one person that I am not psychotic enough to be on this site anymore.
The thing is I have experienced psychosis in the past, but this happened when I was on a Tricyclic antidepressant and when I was on Abilify - a partial dopamine agonist which has a history of sometimes inducing psychosis in certain vulnerable patients.
I do not know if the Risperdal I am on is working so well that my psychosis is in hiding - I do know that I will experience some psychosis when manic or even depressed.
All I know is that I am getting a funny feeling about being here lately - there are some people that just do not welcome you here if you are not psychotic enough - this is truly sad.
If that is the case there are probably some who question my presence here. Heck I sometimes/often question whether I have been psychotic but the pdocs mention things like “psychotic symptoms” and “difficulties with perception”.
Certainly any psychosis has been milder than many here, but I thought this was a place for those who’ve experienced psychosis irrespective of how much and when.
i guess I might come ever as comparatively “normal” but stress and aversive emotional situations can plunge me headlong into cognitive disarray and paranoid irrationality.
I personally think anyone pushing a “You’re not psychotic enough to be here” position is out of order. It is the experience of not the degree of that matters.
Me too …